Meet Your Spouse’s Love Needs & Avoid Your Spouse’s Love Busters

If you want to love your spouse well you’ll need to focus on meeting his/her love needs and avoiding his/her love busters. It’s pretty simple really… once you know what they are! So make an action plan:


a. List your spouse’s top five Love Needs and top five Love Busters. (To find out more about Love Busters and Love Builders click: here)

b. Starting with the Love Busters, choose one to eliminate this week. Think about when you are most likely to do a Love Buster and plan how you will avoid it. For example, say your spouse’s top Love Buster is breaking promises. Maybe you are most likely to do this because you get caught up at work and then are late home. Maybe you can change that and maybe you can’t. What you can change is the promise. Resolve to not make promises you are likely to break. Plan what you will say when your spouse or child asks when you will get home so that you don’t get tempted into making a promise.

c. The following week, choose a Love Builder to focus on. Again, plan the specific way you will implement that Love Builder each day during the week. For example, if your spouse’s Love Need is admiration, you might plan to praise him/her each evening over dinner.

d. Each week, add another Love Buster or Builder.

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Francine & Byron Pirola

Francine & Byron Pirola are the founders and principal authors of the SmartLoving series. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage to the full and helping couples reach their marital potential. They have been married since 1988 and have five children. Their articles may be reproduced for non commercial purposes with appropriate acknowledgement and back links. For Media Enquiries Please Contact us here

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