For dating couples considering engagement

Before you get engaged, consider this...

One of the most critical decisions you will make in your life, is the decision to marry. Not only does it have life-long implications, the decision to marry sets in motion a series of events that carry you towards that commitment with considerable force.

Some of the really important questions that a discerning couple needs to ask include:

Mary Wait Separate - SL Discern


Committed Dating Couples

Need some help to think through the decision to get engaged?

Want to take your relationship to the next level?

SmartLoving Discern gives you a quality learning experience.

Anytime, Anywhere.


Online Learning at its best

SL Discern is the first 4 lessons of the SL Engaged course (9 lessons).

Each lesson takes approximately 1.5 hours to complete and includes individual and couple activities.

Work at your own pace, when it suits you!

The SL Family

Optional Extras

Join one of our free Q&A webinars for course participants or ask a question via our help centre.

Ask a mature couple or mentor in your network to be your Sponsor. We provide free support and resources for them through the SL Sponsor course


The Discern Track

Married couple waving

Created in response to the feedback from couples, the course walks you through the first four lessons of SL Engaged. These lessons give you some foundational skills to dive deep into your relationship and explore each other's views and expectations. Additional content specifically for discerning couples is included.

Explore yourself, your relationship, your understanding of marriage and your hopes for your future, without the pressure of wedding day timelines.

Course Overview



Language Options

Although the course is written and filmed in English, the course videos have closed captions that have been translated into Polish and Spanish. The SmartLoving website is also Google Translate compatible making it accessible for those with hearing impairment and English-Second-Language speakers.

Enrol Now

...and get instant access

Only 1 enrolment is required per couple as you can log in from two devices.

SL Discern

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Purchase includes:

  1. Access to FOUR online lessons from SL Engaged for two years
  2. Access to exclusive member articles and extension activities
  3. Additional content for Discerning couples via email
  4. PDF download of the Workbook (optional print copy purchase)
  5. Rights to upgrade to SL Engaged at difference in RRP
sld page laptop

How it works

  1. Using our online learning system, you and your partner work your way through the lessons at your own pace. Each lesson takes around 1.5 hours to complete and is broken into 5-6 short topics. Video, audio, closed captions and transcripts make the content accessible.
  2. You'll need print copies of the workbook to get the most out of the course and you can either print these yourselves, or order workbooks from the eStore.
  3. As you complete each lesson, we'll send you an email with tips and content specifically for couples in your situation.
  4. If you have a trusted couple or mentor who can accompany you in your discernment journey, arrange to meet with them after each lesson to discuss what you have learned. We'll provide with them with notes and suggestions for their discussions with you.


"I wish we had done our marriage preparation course before we got engaged - we learnt so much that would have made our wedding planning easier".

N and N

"I wish we had done the [Engaged] course earlier. It surfaced some issues that we needed to address." 

M and M

"There were signs of trouble in our relationship from the beginning and I know now we should never have married. A relationship course when we were dating might have saved us from the disaster our marriage became."


What happens after the course?


Marry? Wait? or Separate?

In keeping with your uncertain (dating) marital status, the Discern Track gives you options.

  1. You discern you're ready to marry → you can upgrade for the balance in cost to unlock the full SL Engaged experience.
  2. You decide to wait a bit more →  access the exclusive member articles to keep growing as a couple at no additional charge.
  3. You discern to go your separate ways → you're equipped with relationship tools that you can take into your future relationships.

Do we need Workbooks?

The Workbooks contain all your couple activities, discussion questions, and quizzes. They are an integral part of the course where you record your reflections for sharing with your partner.

You have two options:

  1. Download the PDF and print 2 copies at the beginning of the course (you only need Lessons 1-4, ~ 100pages), or
  2. Order print copies (Lessons 1-9) from the eStore below.

Print Workbooks (pair) $65 AUD | $52 USD | £39 GBP | FREE shipping worldwide (Please allow 3 weeks for delivery).

Gift Certificate

Know someone thinking about engagement and marriage? Give a gift that really makes a difference!

The SmartLoving Discern track is an effective way to support a couple in at that critical time of discernment.

Coaching Available

Want some extra help? You can buy sessions with a SmartLoving coach at any time during your course.

Flexible interaction - Video-conference (standard) or email or phone if you prefer.

Quality assured - All coaches are trained and accredited by SmartLoving

Value for money - Buy a block of three and save

How it works

After you purchase, an email will notify you of your SL Coach and provide a link to the booking calendar. Meetings usually take place via MS Teams (free) but other conferencing software, email or phone can be arranged if needed. If your coach lives locally, meetings can sometimes take place in-person.


Discern FAQs

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