Commitment
Private Vows: Good Idea or Not?
With a son and two nieces presently engaged, there’s a lot of conversation about weddings in our household. One of the things that has come up is the idea of ‘private vows’ which, according to popular blogs, is trending. The phenomenon of eloping to avoid the drama and cost of a big event is not…
Read MoreKiss to Connect
Many couples find the excitement of sex somewhat diminished within a few years of marriage. Their physical intimacy seems somehow perfunctory, unimaginative, even boring. Soon they are moving through life with regular sexual encounters but little connection. Some years on, even the regular sex may become less frequent and sometimes entirely absent. One way that…
Read MoreWhat’s in a vow?
A few years ago we had a ‘date night’ at West Side Story. We thoroughly enjoyed the evening even though we had seen it before in a youth group version. This time, all the performers completed the show intact, unlike the youth group which had to transport one of its members to the hospital with…
Read MoreThe Forever Conversation
At some point, every couple will have the Forever Conversation – the discussion that explores their long-term commitment. It’s no secret to anyone that the incidence of cohabitation has increased. In fact, a couple who hasn’t cohabited is increasingly rare, even in the Catholic formation circles where we work. For couples in these semi-permanent living…
Read MoreAin’t Marriage Grand!
What makes for an epic marriage? A marriage that faces and transcends challenges and obstacles, that has an interior resilience and grace that comes from the God who is always ready to encourage us. We recently attended two weddings of close family friends. This time, a different part of the ceremony really stood out for…
Read MoreResurrecting Our Marriages
Easter Sunday – the highpoint of the Christian calendar celebrating Christ’s resurrection from the dead. But what does this day, this event, have to teach us as married couples? Several years ago, we were invited onto a TV breakfast show to talk about marriage. We are all familiar with the format; people interviewed on couches…
Read MoreThree Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married
The benefit of hindsight! There’s not a couple on earth who doesn’t have some words of wisdom about marriage to share with the young. I came across this on Facebook and was immediately impressed with insights articulated by this newlywed husband. We hope the SmartLoving community will find it helpful, and we’d love to hear what…
Read MoreCommitment
In his book, ‘The Power of Commitment‘, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave…
Read MoreHow Senior Couples Make Marriage Better
In a culture that glorifies youth and sanctions the euthanising of the sick and elderly, it’s easy to lose sight of the gift of seniors. Here are three ways that senior couples make marriage better for all of us. Earlier this year, Pope Francis released a series of homilies on the elderly. Each one explores…
Read MoreThe Auto-Pilot Marriage
Crammed schedules, kids to care for, a demanding boss, the ever-present television. No wonder our attentiveness to our couple relationship erodes over time, leaving us with less connection, less spark, and less intimacy. Without an active, intentional mindset, most contemporary marriages end up on ‘auto-pilot’. During courtship, our relationship is central in our awareness and…
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