Falling in love is a conversion experience. Most of us start out as self-centred individuals and suddenly find ourselves caring more about someone else’s happiness than we do our own. Some of the joy that we associate with being ‘in love’ is really that freedom to be outside of ourselves, caught up in the goodness of the other.
Their strength or beauty may attract us, but in order to love with an authentic other-centred love we need to know the other. We can not love someone effectively until we know them well.
Thinking about your spouse…
- When is he/she most joyful?
- What does he/she long for or desire most?
- What does he/she worry about or fear the most?
- About what does he/she get irritable or complain?
- When does he feel most strong in his masculinity, or she feel most feminine?
- When does he/she experience self-doubt or feelings of inadequacy?
- When does he/she feel most appreciated? Respected? Cherished?
- When does he/she feel most needed? Trusted?