Expectations in Marriage

In this post we feature some extracts from a homily by Bishop Anthony Taylor of the Diocese of Little Rock, Arkansas. Read the full article: here Expectations and Happiness Happiness is determined by our expectations and our ability to notice and rejoice in little things. If our expectations are modest, life will usually exceed our…

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Three Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

The benefit of hindsight! There’s not a couple on earth who doesn’t have some words of wisdom about marriage to share with the young. I came across this on Facebook and was immediately impressed with insights articulated by this newlywed husband. We hope the SmartLoving community will find it helpful, and we’d love to hear what…

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#6 How to help a marriage in trouble

We all know someone whose marriage is in trouble or has ended. Often, they will drop hints or even speak openly in general conversation. How can we be supportive and helpful to friends and family when their marriage is struggling? Join us, and our guest, as we dig deep into our experience and share what…

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Spare the Left-Overs

It’s that time of year again – the season of joy and gluttony. By the time Christmas day is over, our refrigerator will be filled with yummy, delectable left-overs. Unfortunately, not all left-overs are so delicious. Too often in a marriage, instead of our best selves, we serve up the less than appetising left-overs. We…

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Christmas Crazies!

If there is one thing that takes the edge off our Christmas joy, it’s the pressure of the consumer culture to give better, more unique, and thoughtful presents for an increasing multitude of people. No matter how much we criticize the materialistic values that dominate Christmas, every year, we get sucked into the eleventh hour…

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#5 Thoughts Emotions Needs

We’ve already explored how to deepen our communication as a couple but focusing on sharing our interior life, specifically, sharing at the more intimate levels of Emotions and Needs. But how do emotions and needs relate to each other? And importantly, how do our thoughts impact our emotions? In this conversation we’re exploring these nuances…

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Knowing what to love

You can’t love what you don’t know. This saying has profoundly influenced our marriage and our faith. About once a decade we book tickets to the opera in the expectation of a romantic date night brimming with artistic delight. We have to confess though, we usually come home vaguely disappointed. Not being particularly musical, we…

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Defiant Hope

Advent is a season of anticipation. The birth of any child, not least the Messiah, gives us cause for hope. Earlier this week, we heard the testimony of Chris and Natalie Stefanick, a couple who had journeyed through dark seasons in their marriage. Having survived sexual abuse as a child, Natalie found she needed many…

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Commitment

In his book, ‘The Power of Commitment‘, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave…

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