There’s more to successful relationships than just following your instincts.

Do the quiz to find out how you rate



A. Love is…

1: A feeling – so I follow my feelings in my marriage
2: More than a feeling, but mostly I let my feelings tell me how to act
3: Hard work  
4: A choice to give myself to my spouse

B. I know my spouse’s Love Needs

4: Yes, and I actively love him/her that way
3: Yes, but I don’t always use the information
2: I know some of them … I think
1: What’s a Love Need?

C. I know my spouse’s Love Busters

4: Yes, and I avoid them
3: I know some of them … I think
2: I know them, but I am not good at avoiding them
1: Yep, and they’re great ammunition when I get angry

D. SmartLoving is…

1: Working out how to get my needs met
2: An agreement to meet my spouse’s needs if he/she meets mine
3: Loving my spouse the way I would like to be loved
4: Loving my spouse the way he/she likes and needs to be loved

E. When we argue…

1: We don’t argue, really we don’t
2: It’s shouting and temper tantrums
3: It’s heated, but we try to fight fair
4: We take a time out when it gets heated and come back later

F. After an argument ends badly, usually…

2: We do the silent treatment for a few days
2: We avoid that topic so we don’t get into another argument
1: We sulk and keep out of each other’s way
4: When we’ve cooled off, we apologise and make up

G. When my spouse does something that annoys or hurts me I usually…

1: Hit back
2: Get irritable and short tempered
3: Withdraw while I cool off
4: Respectfully and kindly ask my spouse not to do it .

To get your final score, add the numbers up that correspond with your answers.

7-15: You have some serious work to do if you want to love smarter.
16-23: You’re well on your way to a smart relationship, but there’s still more to learn.
24-28: You’re loving smart most of the time… keep it coming!


Refresh your marriage

Posts in this Series

Nature of Love: here

Gender Differences: here

Loving Smart: here

SmartLoving Keys: here

Discover Your Unique Love Profile: here

Have you got a Smart Relationship: here – this post