Have you got a Smart Relationship?

There’s more to successful relationships than just following your instincts.

Do the quiz to find out how you rate

 

 

A. Love is…

1: A feeling – so I follow my feelings in my marriage
2: More than a feeling, but mostly I let my feelings tell me how to act
3: Hard work  
4: A choice to give myself to my spouse

B. I know my spouse’s Love Needs

4: Yes, and I actively love him/her that way
3: Yes, but I don’t always use the information
2: I know some of them … I think
1: What’s a Love Need?

C. I know my spouse’s Love Busters

4: Yes, and I avoid them
3: I know some of them … I think
2: I know them, but I am not good at avoiding them
1: Yep, and they’re great ammunition when I get angry

D. SmartLoving is…

1: Working out how to get my needs met
2: An agreement to meet my spouse’s needs if he/she meets mine
3: Loving my spouse the way I would like to be loved
4: Loving my spouse the way he/she likes and needs to be loved

E. When we argue…

1: We don’t argue, really we don’t
2: It’s shouting and temper tantrums
3: It’s heated, but we try to fight fair
4: We take a time out when it gets heated and come back later

F. After an argument ends badly, usually…

2: We do the silent treatment for a few days
2: We avoid that topic so we don’t get into another argument
1: We sulk and keep out of each other’s way
4: When we’ve cooled off, we apologise and make up

G. When my spouse does something that annoys or hurts me I usually…

1: Hit back
2: Get irritable and short tempered
3: Withdraw while I cool off
4: Respectfully and kindly ask my spouse not to do it .

To get your final score, add the numbers up that correspond with your answers.

7-15: You have some serious work to do if you want to love smarter.
16-23: You’re well on your way to a smart relationship, but there’s still more to learn.
24-28: You’re loving smart most of the time… keep it coming!

 

Refresh your marriage

Posts in this Series

Nature of Love: here

Gender Differences: here

Loving Smart: here

SmartLoving Keys: here

Discover Your Unique Love Profile: here

Have you got a Smart Relationship: here – this post

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About the Author:

Francine & Byron Pirola
Francine & Byron Pirola are the founders and principal authors of the SmartLoving series. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage to the full and helping couples reach their marital potential. They have been married since 1988 and have five children. Their articles may be reproduced for non commercial purposes with appropriate acknowledgement and back links.

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