Two of Us: Topics of Conversation


A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication





Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions.
Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse.


Father, I thank you for you 
and I thank you for myself  and I thank you for my spouse. 
Let me be at my best for all three of us during this time. 
Help us to get closer to one another in your name. 
Fill me with sincerity and love. 
I ask this in the name of Jesus, the Lord. Amen.


1. When we are alone, we usually talk about (select two):

  • bills
  • the future
  • the children
  • my family
  • in-laws
  • the house
  • the job
  • world affairs
  • us
  • school
  • the neighbours
  • differences of opinion
  • other……………………………..

2. When we talk about these things, I am usually:

  • better informed
  • strengthened in my decision
  • pleased
  • sometimes dissatisfied
  • feeling close to you
  • bored
  • entertained
  • defensive
  • trying to change your mind
  • other…………………………………..

3. We often wind up talking about everything except us, because (explain in detail)…


Come together and reconnect your spouse with a tender hug and kiss, or whatever is comfortable for you.
Take turns to share your answers. 
Listen with an open heart.
  1. What “us” topics do I like most to talk about?
  2. When do I get the most out of talking about us?
  3. How can we talk together about us more often?


Fr Chuck Gallagher sj is the founder of the Pastoral & Matrimonial Renewal Centre and a co-author to many resources in the SmartLoving series.

Two of Us Series

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