Knowing what to love

You can’t love what you don’t know. This saying has profoundly influenced our marriage and our faith. About once a decade we book tickets to the opera in the expectation of a romantic date night brimming with artistic delight. We have to confess though, we usually come home vaguely disappointed. Not being particularly musical, we…

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Couple Decision Making

Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value; something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late, may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing…

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Loving Smart

Loving Smart

Everyone experiences love differently. Biology, upbringing, personality and experiences all influence the way an individual likes and needs to be loved. Being different in this way isn’t a problem. In fact it’s one of the things that makes relationships a rich and wonderful experience. What is a potential problem is that both you and your…

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Romantic Love: Feeling or Choice?

From Hollywood to Cleo, the cultural representations of Romantic Love are clear: it’s a spontaneous feeling of attraction and affection for another. And like all feelings, we don’t choose it: it’s something that just happens to us. We spontaneously ‘fall’ into love and we are powerless to prevent it. To be sure when it strikes,…

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Romance in Scripture

  Why is the Song of Songs favoured by mystics? What is it about this book in the Bible that attracts so much attention? Surely the answer is that the language – poetic, erotic and sensual – speaks profoundly to the hearts of those who hunger for intimacy with the lover of our souls. This…

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Sexuality – A Resource for Loving

Sexuality touches upon every aspect of our personhood, body and soul, and it is expressed as either masculinity or femininity. It is developed and expressed primarily through relationships. Our masculinity or femininity draws us into relationship and makes us attractive to the other sex. When we are attracted to another, our good qualities are brought…

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Couple Evening Prayer

Praying as an individual is vital to our Christian journey. As a married couple, you can also do couple prayer. This is prayer in personal conversation with God while allowing our spouse to hear. It’s a bit like a three way conversation. When we pray in this way, we are authentic and honest as there…

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Marriage or Matrimony?

Are you getting married ‘in the Church’ or simply ‘at a church’? People call a lot of things ‘marriage’. Everything from heterosexual cohabitation (common law marriage) to civil contracts (secular marriage) to the Judeo-Christian concept of covenant. In a Christian marriage there is a desire for the marriage to be open to the Lord and…

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Reality Check: Cohabitation

Cohabitation is a general term that refers to a number of different living arrangements. These comments refer to those couples who are both living together and also sexually active, (that is, they are not just sharing a residence as friends) and are not in a permanent alternative to marriage (de-facto relationship). Despite the widely held…

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