Dating
A Habit of Thanks
Think Positive I was very pessimistic as a teenager. I tended to see everything negatively, and even when something good happened, I always noted how it could be better. I didn’t make very good company, even for myself. That changed when I fell in love, and learned a new way of relating to the world.…
Read MorePursuing a Lasting Love
Lessons from St. Valentine | A reflection for World Marriage Day 2025 As we approach World Marriage Day on February 9th, we are reminded of another celebrated figure of marital devotion – St. Valentine. Today, his name evokes thoughts of flowers and romantic dinners. Yet St. Valentine’s true legacy speaks to something far more…
Read MoreDefending our hearts
Is defensiveness crippling your relationship? Do you feel regularly on edge, reactive and punchy? Read on for our process for managing defensiveness. Recently, Byron shared a new idea with Francine. Instead of encouragement, Francine responded with “when will you get time to do that?!” The conversation immediately terminated in gloomy withdrawal. Afterwards we unpacked the…
Read MoreKnowing what to love
You can’t love what you don’t know. This saying has profoundly influenced our marriage and our faith. About once a decade we book tickets to the opera in the expectation of a romantic date night brimming with artistic delight. We have to confess though, we usually come home vaguely disappointed. Not being particularly musical, we…
Read MoreCouple Decision Making
Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value; something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late, may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing…
Read MoreKiss to Connect
Many couples find the excitement of sex somewhat diminished within a few years of marriage. Their physical intimacy seems somehow perfunctory, unimaginative, even boring. Soon they are moving through life with regular sexual encounters but little connection. Some years on, even the regular sex may become less frequent and sometimes entirely absent. One way that…
Read MoreThe Forever Conversation
At some point, every couple will have the Forever Conversation – the discussion that explores their long-term commitment. It’s no secret to anyone that the incidence of cohabitation has increased. In fact, a couple who hasn’t cohabited is increasingly rare, even in the Catholic formation circles where we work. For couples in these semi-permanent living…
Read MoreThree Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married
The benefit of hindsight! There’s not a couple on earth who doesn’t have some words of wisdom about marriage to share with the young. I came across this on Facebook and was immediately impressed with insights articulated by this newlywed husband. We hope the SmartLoving community will find it helpful, and we’d love to hear what…
Read MoreLoving Smart
Everyone experiences love differently. Biology, upbringing, personality and experiences all influence the way an individual likes and needs to be loved. Being different in this way isn’t a problem. In fact it’s one of the things that makes relationships a rich and wonderful experience. What is a potential problem is that both you and your…
Read MoreThe Nature of Love
We all ‘know’ what love is: it’s that feeling of affection and attachment we experience for another person. But is love just a feeling? Or is there more to it?
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