ReflectSeparately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions.
Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse.
I am a very unique type of person. You had a lot to do with that, Father.
After all, you made me in You image and likeness.
Of course, I’ve added my own touches to your creation.
Help me to see what I’m really like, the beauty of it and the flaws.
I want to be truly honest with myself.
Jesus will ask this of You for me. Amen.
A. With each Personality Style listed below rate yourself on the degree to which it describes your dominant pattern of behavior. If it is exactly like you, give it a 10. If it is nothing like you at all, give it a 1. On a scale of 1 to 10, rate yourself according to each of the Personality Styles listed.
_____ 1. Director of the Action
– accepts challenge, takes authority, likes power, thrives on competition, doesn’t like controls or super-vision, likes new activities, adventurous, idea person, seeks affirmation, high strung, gives direct answers, presents herself/himself with confidence.
_____ 2. People Pleaser
– people person, likes to be accepted by others, presents himself/herself well, can motivate others, entertains people, likes to help others, likes being part of a group, popular, can get along with a lot of different groups of people, easy going, flexible, generates enthusiasm, can help build group cohesiveness.
_____ 3. The Person Others Can Count On
– consistent and reasonable predictable, patient, what he/she does is done well, loyal, listens to others well and a lot, can calm people down, get a lot done quietly in the background, doesn’t like to be in unpredictable situations, needs to get credit from people he/she respects, for work well done, wants to help the group he/she cares about, likes guidelines.
_____ 4. The Concise and Competent Person
– a detail person who wants to know what is expected and restricted, very exact, diplomatic with others, accurate, looks carefully and thinks things through, sees the inconsistencies, doesn’t raise flack, a follower who is loyal and competent rather than a front runner or decision maker, needs reassurance, wants to be part of a group and do something to help them, respects people for their accomplishments, avoids conflict and personal confrontation at all costs.
_____ 5. The Free Spirit
– likes the unusual, likes change, can be too critical at times, gets bored, can be moody, assertive, likes to be influential, likes results he/she can see, looks for perfection, acts on impulse, doesn’t like rules, regulations and commitment, looks cool and confident, sometimes comes off as blunt, creative, pace setter.
_____ 6. The Tight Rope Walker
– likes affection, supportive, good listener, friendly, willing to help, organizer, loyal and understanding, would do something for someone else she/he would do for self, hates conflict and tension between people who care about one another, promotes toleration, extremely kind, smooths things over between people, somewhat independent but wants to belong to others.
_____ 7. The Precision Person
– wants to do things the right way, cautious, precise and perfectionist, under pressure becomes a diplomat, willing to make sure of self, needs reassurance and personal attention, finds it difficult to accept compliments, very conscientious, likes quality and exactness, looks for security and predictability.
_____ 8. The Helping Person
– likes to help others solve their problems, affectionate and empathetic, helps people feel good about themselves, warm and understanding, doesn’t push themselves or their ideas and solutions to problems on others, can let people “bleed” them rather than confront these people to produce or accomplish, doesn’t often set or meet realistic guidelines, overreacts to real and “imagined” criticism, need compliments and celebrations of success, many friendships, easily hurt, open to intimacy with many.
_____ 9. Make it Happen Person
– intense, personally good, high expectations of themselves and others, trouble submitting herself/himself to other’s goals, works hard to produce results, a doer rather than delegator, willing to face success or failure, wants rewards and compensations equal to their effort, seeks leadership, independent, easily annoyed by people who whine or give excuses for failure, finds it hard to compromise.
_____ 10. Person Who Helps Others Dream
– excellent in motivating and influencing others’ thinking, can sell an idea or dream, projects strength and power, can leave people with an afterthought of having been controlled or manipulated, befriends people who need it, leads people who need it, takes care of people who need security, people can love and be attracted to them but sometimes can wonder if they’re being used, under pressure they can become belligerent and use any means to justify the ends.
_____ 11. The Thinking Person
– won’t get involved in conflict, always uses his/her head, looks at facts and comes to rational choice, doesn’t jump into anything without facts, even though they are intuitive, can love and fight, willing to offer what they know to help others, likes peaceful environment, looks for “right” answers, finds it hard to acknowledge mistakes.
_____ 12. The Promoter-Politican
– must be accepted by others and be popular, strong verbalization skills, jovial, praises people a lot, relieves tension between people, creates enthusiasm, optimistic sentimental, willing to do lots of favors, accepts others, very social and outgoing.
B. Which of these styles comes closes to describing your behavior?
C. Give some details to describe how you act, wearing this personality style.
D. How do you feel now, knowing that your style can interfere with forming intimate relationships?