ReflectSeparately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions.
Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse.
Watching Jesus grow up must have touched Your fatherly heart.
You would have had a lot of the same feelings for me, Father, when I was a little girl/boy.
As I look over my early years, let me see You looking after me.
I ask this, in the name of Jesus, Your Son.
1. What do you remember about your sexuality growing up which was positive?
2. What do you remember about your sexuality growing up which was negative?
NOTE: Being a victim of rape, incest, indecent exposure, witnessing the sexual activity of someone else, graphic sexual fantasy, pornography, etc., are not as unlikely a part of a person’s history, as we would wish. If incidents of this type are a part of your experiences, facing that reality now is a step toward healing. Of course, this does not preclude professional help, if there is need.
3. How do those memories affect you now?
4. Have you hurt your spouse’s sexuality? Describe fully.
5. Select one hurt you have inflicted upon your spouse. Call him/her to mind. Write down some of his or her good qualities, those elements of their personhood which evoke in you feelings of tenderness and compassion. Write a short prayer asking the Lord’s forgiveness for the sexual hurts you caused this person.
6. Select one sexual hurt you have received from your spouse. Recall his or her goodness and the memories you have of moments of closeness and caring with him or her. Write a short prayer asking the Lord’s grace to lead you to forgive the spouse and to forget the memory of the hurt.