An article by Danielle Ayers Jones who puts the spot light on the obsession of looking for “the one”
(Also see The Soul Mate Quest)
Six months into my relationship with Josh, I began to feel some intense angst. I struggled knowing for certain if he was “the one.”
I longed for a word from God: a message written in the sky saying, “marry this man” or “don’t marry this man” would be helpful.
Marriage is a big decision and one I wasn’t taking lightly. I did not look into the possibility of married life with romantic eyes. My parents’ marriage was something I did not want to emulate. I’d had an up close view to a marriage gone wrong and wanted no part of it.
I’d planned on staying single, envisioning a satisfying life as a career professional or dedicating my life to ministry. Being a wife or mother didn’t have much appeal for me.
But then my relationship with Josh deepened and I realized he was exactly the type of guy I was looking for—without realizing I was looking.
And so a struggle ensued in my soul, but also an epiphany.
Although many of my desires for remaining single were noble ones, my relationship with Josh revealed an issue I’d not expected: fear.
I feared marriage. Marriage meant being vulnerable and opening myself up to the possibility of hurt. It meant not being in autonomous control of my life. That was very scary for me. I wasn’t about to give up being single unless I knew Josh was “the one” God had for me. But how could I know for sure? I didn’t want to make the wrong choice and ruin my life.
At some point I realized two things that helped change my thought-process.
God’s Will isn’t a Scavenger Hunt
I’d been viewing God’s will as a scavenger hunt. I was looking for clues but afraid I’d miss them.
But that was a false view of God. God wasn’t trying to “hide” His will from me. He wasn’t playing cosmic hide-and-seek. He loves me and is sovereign over my life, working in and through my decisions in ways I can’t fathom. I saw this theme woven throughout Scripture as well as the tapestry of my own past. (Read more here)