Gender Differences: tolerated or celebrated?

For several dark decades last century, the god of political correctness demanded that we speak, think and act as though men and women were essentially identical. Thankfully, common sense has prevailed and it is now more acceptable to speak of gender differences. In fact, most of the best comedic literature on heterosexual relationships draw their…

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Loving Smart

How to Love Over many years we’ve come to realise that most of our mistakes in love come from the assumption that everyone experiences love the same way. A number of authors have developed frameworks to help us understand the foolishness of this idea. For example, in ‘The Five Love Languages’ Gary Chapman recognises that…

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Respect & Cherishment

What’s the Diff? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred be alone and unloved, compared to only minority…

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Daily Appreciation

We all love to be appreciated. It feels good; it helps us to feel positive towards ourselves and towards the person expressing the appreciation. It is a genuinely loving gesture to express appreciation to another and, in marriage particularly, it is a positive relationship habit. Why is expressing appreciation of our spouse such a powerful…

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Two of Us: Me and You

A couple exercise to uncover our problems and move forward with hope for our relationship Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse.     Prayer Father, sometimes You must laugh at me and shake Your head.  You…

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Marriage: to be happy or to be holy?

”… And they lived happily ever after”… it’s the ending of the fairy tale love story and has become the expected story line of most modern day couples. Swept away by passion and the overwhelming experience of ‘falling in love’, couples expect the wedding to seal their happiness in permanent (and effortless) marital bliss. Of…

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Two of Us: Decisions in Marriage

A couple exercise to explore yourrelationship and the decisions you make Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse.     Prayer I just want to be close to You, at this moment, just taking a some time…

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Daily Strongest Emotion

“Honey we need to talk!” Those five words strike unparalleled fear into a man’s heart. They usually mean an unpleasant message or a very long and arduous interaction. No wonder men dread these words! While women are marathon runners in the endurance conversation; men are optimised for the sprint encounter – fast, focussed, effective communication is…

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Two of Us: Our Commitment

A couple exercise to explore your level of commitment Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Answer the following questions in terms of your spouse. Prayer What a wonderful Father You are.  It is so good to…

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Two of Us: Sex and Sexuality

A couple exercise to explore love making and sexual atmosphere Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer What an incredible gift my sexuality is, Father.  Though at times, it puzzles and confuses me. I’m not always…

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