Marriage Enemy #1: Lethargy

We asked a marriage counselor friend of ours about why a marriage fails. We were expecting a long complex answer so we already had a bottle of wine open. Yet her answer was short. According to her, if there are no addictions or mental illness involved, then most marriages fail through simple, straight-forward laziness. Almost…

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For Better is Important too

We all understand how important it is to know that your spouse will be there to support you during the hard times. Having someone to rely on in difficult times gives couples a sense of security and confidence in their marriage. In fact, many a couple has come undone in the aftermath of a crisis…

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Two of Us: Being Better

In what ways can I improve my behaviors and attitudes for the benefit of both my spouse and my family? Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes and then share your answers more fully with your spouse.     Prayer I know You want the best for…

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Marriage: to be happy or to be holy?

”… And they lived happily ever after”… it’s the ending of the fairy tale love story and has become the expected story line of most modern day couples. Swept away by passion and the overwhelming experience of ‘falling in love’, couples expect the wedding to seal their happiness in permanent (and effortless) marital bliss. Of…

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Three Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

Came across this via my Facebook page and had to share with the SmartLoving community. Enjoy! Francine. I used to think I had my stuff together. Then I got married. Marriage is great—but it rocked everything I knew. I quickly realized my basic goal in life, prior to getting married, was to simply remain undisturbed.…

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The Art of Seduction

The Post-Marriage Paradox When it comes to winning the affections of a woman, most men think of flowers, jewellery, romantic dinners, and copious amounts of admiring comments about her looks. It works pretty well most of the time… until they get married and start a family. Now, these same gestures can sometimes, to his utter…

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Positive Thinking

Capitalise on the Positive Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a kind of ‘damage control’ approach that seeks to minimize the impact of negative experiences. One of the strategies for couples that is often overlooked…

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Kiss Me Quick!

Sex or Nothing? Kissing is highly under-rated in our culture. Since the sexual revolution, sex has come to dominate romantic relationships and dominate our thinking about what it means to be sexually intimate. Even married couples of more traditional values, where sex is confined to within marriage, can fall victim to this sex-or-nothing thinking about…

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Married Singles Unhappily Ever After

We all start out in marriage with a dream; a dream of a life-long, love affair. But after a year or two, disillusionment sets in and the unreserved trust and intimacy we enjoyed becomes tentative and fragile. We join the army of other ‘married singles’ living our parallel lives and wishing that the other sex…

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The Ikea Carpark Battle

We know the scenario: a frazzled couple, stroppy kids and a car that just isn’t big enough to fit all the stuff they’ve just bought in store. Over-tired and over-sugared children seem destined to test the tolerance of their parents while an impatient driver waits conspicuously for their parking spot adding pressure to the situation.…

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