Prayer for Couples in Times of Trouble
Dr. Frank Fincham, Director of the FSU Family Institute, conducted a study over four weeks where participants were randomly assigned to either:
- Pray for their partner
- Engage in general prayer
- Set aside time to think about the positive things in life and about their partner.
At the end of the study, those in the first group reported a greater willingness to forgive their partner for a mistake or hurt. This is incredibly important as other research has also demonstrated that the willingness to forgive is one of the fundamental characteristics of long term marriages.
Other studies have looked how stress can be managed by focusing on being grateful. Gratitude is associated with a more optimistic outlook and generally better mental health. Moreover, prayer helps to increase gratitude.
“Our research shows that praying for your partner can bring you back to the common goals,” said Dr. Fincham. “When people pray, they become one with their spouse. A subtle shift occurs. Praying regulates your emotion and it never leads to anger. Knee-mail is social support available 24/7. We know that couples who have access to social support tend to negotiate their relationship affairs better than anyone else.”
So if your marriage is doing it tough, start praying! It can really make a difference.
Here’s the prayer we suggested to our enquirer. We’d love to know your suggestions for a prayer – please share in the comments below.
Lord,
I thank you for the many blessings in my life.
I thank for my spouse, even though it is tough right now.
Help me to see the goodness in him/her.
Give me a willingness to understand his/her point of view.
Help me to be compassionate and tolerant towards our differences and
forgive me for the ways that I have hurt our relationship.
Help me to forgive my spouse for the ways he/she has hurt me.
Grant me the grace of humility
and do not let pride keep me from loving my spouse
the way you want me to.
Amen.
I was engaged to Lisa. She broke up with me because my mother called her a terrible word. And she broke up with me because she felt like I wasn’t doing anything to become employed. I have been unemployed for almost 2 years. We were supposed to be getting married and having children. She doesn’t want to take to me because I was trying to fix things and she wanted space and I kept texting her and calling her. She basically said I was harassing her. I can’t lose her. And I feel like I am. I have been praying for a reconciliation. I have been praying for me to rebuild myself as well. I want to fix our relationship and come together under God. Please pray for me. I’m so hurt. I know God will prevail and he has a plan. It’s hard not to have anxiety about this whole situation.
We’re so sorry to hear of your situation Akieba. It is very painful when a relationship ends, especially when you were at a stage that was looking forward to making a life together. Without knowing the circumstances, we won’t offer specific advice, we would say this though: time given in prayer is never wasted. Whatever the outcome for your relationship with your former fiance, use this opportunity to lean into God and join your heart to his. Praying for you!
Please pray for my husband Stephano
Ruth, we lift you and your husband Stephano up in prayer – May the Lord God pour out his abundant grace on you both and give you strength to persevere in your difficulties. Remembering that he is our good, good Father, may you surrender your cares into his keeping, trusting in his providence. Amen.