Based in the Sacrament of Matrimony, couple prayer is different to community prayer; it recognises that our intimacy and trust as a couple is directly related to our marital holiness.
So the purpose of couple prayer is to not only bring you closer to God, but to also bring you closer to each other. Couple prayer is tremendously valuable and is a powerful way for couples to deepen their intimacy and fortify their marriage with God’s grace. Many couples report the following benefits once they begin praying as a couple:
- higher marital satisfaction overall
- greater tolerance for their spouse
- greater willingness to forgive and heal after hurts
- lower conflict and less explosive arguments
- more frequent and more satisfying lovemaking
- greater collaboration and sense of working as a team
- increased gratitude and optimism about the marriage
Getting Started with Couple Prayer
Praying openly and vulnerably together can be quite confronting, so it’s best to take it gradually. From wherever you might be starting, just take your couple prayer one more step. For example, if you’ve never prayed as a couple, start by simply lighting a candle, holding each other’s hand and praying silently. When you feel comfortable with this, try praying the Lord’s Prayer together.
Use the sequence below as a guide to help you take the next step in couple prayer.
Eight Steps to Deeper Couple Prayer
- Light a candle and hold hands together for a few minutes. Silently thank God for your spouse.
- Hold hands and say the Lord’s Prayer together.
- Before praying together, each offer an intention for your prayer, perhaps something about which you are worried or stressed.
- Before praying together, share when you felt or recognised God’s presence today.
- Before praying together, share how you felt loved by your spouse today.
- When praying together, add a prayer of thanks for the gift of your spouse.
- When praying together, add a prayer of sorrow for the times you failed to love this day.
- When praying together, add a prayer asking for a grace you might need, like self-control, perseverance, kindness, humility etc. (for more on praying for grace: here)