Search Results: listening

Take Five: Making a Change for the Better

By Francine & Byron Pirola / June 21, 2013

Change is difficult. It can also be complicated. Despite our best intentions, sustained change often eludes us. We’ve had many spouses tell us that their husband/wife promised to change and things were good for a while but then there was a relapse. Their good intentions were not enough to sustain their energy for change.  …

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Love Busters and Love Builders

By Francine & Byron Pirola / April 17, 2013

What are Love Busters and Love Builders? Love Builders: a behaviour or gesture which communicates love to you and helps you feel close and connected to your spouse. Some Examples: Cherishment Caring for me, being tender and gentle with me Being of service to me, doing things for me that I enjoy Nurturing me, doting…

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Love needs more than "I'm sorry".

Reconciliation

By Francine & Byron Pirola / September 23, 2012

Love means more than saying “I’m sorry”. There’s a difference between the ‘I’ centred statement “I’m sorry”, and the other centred statement, “Will you please forgive me?” The ‘I’ centred statement simply acknowledges a fact. A person might recognise that they behaved poorly, inconsiderately, insensitively, thoughtlessly or carelessly. They might also just want to move…

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Power of Prayer to transform

Power of Prayer

By Francine & Byron Pirola / September 16, 2012

Prayer does not change God, it does not always change the situation, but it does change the heart of the person praying. Many people do not trust prayer, or doubt it’s power to have an impact. After all, we’ve all had experiences of praying earnestly for something, only to be disappointed when what we sought…

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Communication

By Francine & Byron Pirola / September 5, 2012

When we promise to take one another, we promise to take all of that person – body, psyche and spirit. We take one another with all the beliefs, thoughts, feelings and attitudes that each has. We take the biases, prejudices, fears, and anxieties as well as all the dreams and expectations we each have for…

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SLHome Hear me Know me

New Product: Hear Me Know Me

By Francine & Byron Pirola / August 31, 2012

It is often said that we cannot love what we do not know. Listening, truly listening and entering into the experience of our spouse is vitally important if we want to know our spouse and therefore be better equipped to love him/her. In this the topic for the latest instalment in the SmartLoving @Home series (more info: here) the…

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Recovering from an Argument

Autopsy of an Argument

By Francine & Byron Pirola / August 17, 2012

How do you recover from the carnage of an argument? Here’s a game plan to help you heal the rift and learn from the experience! 1. Stop:  Allow yourselves time to cool off. Separate and practice some self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing, taking a walk, having a cup of tea, meditating, consciously relaxing each part…

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Anatomy of an Argument

Anatomy of an Argument

By Francine & Byron Pirola / August 16, 2012

Have you ever found that you seem to be having the same argument over and over? Sometimes this may be because you didn’t resolve the issue in the previous argument, and so inevitably, it comes up again. But sometimes, there is a déjà vu sense when the issue is new – that comes about because…

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