Search Results: listening
Listening is the Music of Love
One of the most supremely loving gestures we can give another is to listen to them. Yet for most of us, being listened to is a rare experience. What makes it so hard to give this simple gift to each other? We remember those days so well. The early romance days. Living in two different…
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Listening for true understanding
In our previous column, we made the point that marriage is like a contact sport, and that the ‘game’ is more fun, and certainly safer, when we both understand the rules of engagement. We outlined three rules for the Speaker and now we’d like to do the same for the Listener. In any intimate conversation,…
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Empathetic Listening
You can’t be a good communicator without being a superlative listener. Ron and Kathy Feher discuss how couples can learn to listen like a professional and enhance their connection.
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Listening with the Heart
The first step towards the kind of active listening that will facilitate an experience of intimacy is to examine some of our normal responses to the other’s personal sharing of what’s going on inside them. Resistance People tend to block the sharing of their emotions when the listener reacts defensively or signals that they don’t…
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Finding Our Way to Heaven
We’ve been listening to Mike and Alicia Hernon’s podcast called Messy Families. One of their recurring messages for parents is: stop worrying about getting your kids to heaven – parenting is about helping you get there! When we first heard them say this it stopped us in our tracks. Mike and Lisa go on to…
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Being God’s presence to those we Accompany
Pope Francis has called Catholic communities to accompany couples at various stages. What does accompaniment look like, and is there anything special about a Catholic version? A few years back, our 23-year-old son found himself accompanying a stranger. At the time he was working for a building company that specialised in upgrades and maintenance for…
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Hear Me, Touch Me, Know Me
In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…
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Stonewalling: A Silent Killer in Marriage
Stonewalling – aka ‘the silent treatment’ – is common in many marriages. Never helpful and poorly understood, we ignore it at our risk. Stonewalling is the practice of withdrawing from an interaction, shutting down and closing ourselves off from the other. We may be physically still present, but we become un-responsive, emotionally withdrawn, and non-communicative.…
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How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble
When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve…
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#21 Beyond Feelings
The world of feelings is vitally important to life and relationships. But what does current research and best practice tell us about how to understand them, and orient them for the best outcomes in our relationships? Guest: Shawn Van der Linden (Bth, BSW, AMHSW) CatholicPsych Institute: Master Mentor and International Programs Consultant Managing Director: Altum…
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