Climax, or orgasm, occurs when the level of arousal reaches a point of intensity that triggers rhythmic muscular contractions in the genital area. Orgasm is also associated with intense experience of pleasure.
The release of the hormone oxytocin in the brain at the time of orgasm, stimulates a sense of connection and bonding. In fact, oxytocin has been dubbed ‘the bonding hormone’. It is also responsible for the ‘let down reflex’ when mothers breast feed their babies, so helping her to bond with her baby. In men, the release of oxytocin during orgasm, is believed to be particularly important in helping him to bond with his wife.
Non-orgasmic response during intercourse should not considered a dysfunction in women. It is a normal variation of female sexuality. For some women, this may be a long standing pattern, for others, it may be associated with a particular life stage, such as pregnancy or breast feeding. Many women report deep emotional connection and sexual satisfaction during intercourse with their husbands, even when they do not experience orgasm.
It is important to liberate ourselves from the stereotypical thinking which judges successful sex solely on the orgasmic outcomes. In our culture, it has become the measure of the man to ensure that she has an orgasm – an attitude which engenders performance pressure and emotionally disconnected sex.
Some climax problems are the result of pain. Painful intercourse has many causes, including poor lubrication, skin diseases, pelvic infections, prolonged thrusting, and vaginal spasms. Some of these conditions will require professional assistance to resolve, but they are almost always treatable. Your medical doctor or GP will be able to assist you.
Francine & Byron Pirola are the founders and principal authors of the SmartLoving series. They are passionate about living Catholic marriage to the full and helping couples reach their marital potential. They have been married since 1988 and have five children.
Their articles may be reproduced for non commercial purposes with appropriate acknowledgement and back links.