A Little Restraint Goes a Long Way

It happens all the time – one of us does or says something and it triggers a harsh reaction. To break the habit of reactivity, try this mindfulness tool to develop the virtue of restraint. While often associated with Buddhist meditation, Mindfulness has in fact been a feature of many religions under different names, including…

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Two Sides to Relationship Repair

Periods of disconnection are an unfortunate part of every marriage. Relationship Repair takes both an initiator and receiver. Disconnection has happened frequently in our marriage, even for newlyweds. It might have been the result of a hurtful action, a careless comment, an argument, or just insufficient time together. We’ve written about a number of disconnection…

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Three Ways to a Resilient Marriage

We’ve been hearing from many of our SmartLoving leaders around the world looking for help in supporting couples under stress. There’s certainly lots of stress going around with pandemic induced changes and uncertainty. It got us reflecting on marital resilience – the ability of a relationship to endure and persevere through difficulties. There is quite…

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The Light of Bethlehem Heals

More than any other time of year, Christmas connects us with powerful childhood memories. For some, these are joyful: for many however, the memories are tinged with grief. Remembering Most of us have lovely memories of Christmas from our childhood: the excitement of gifts under the tree, beautiful liturgies, magical store displays and the movie…

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For Better is Important too

We all understand how important it is to know that your spouse will be there to support you during the hard times. Having someone to rely on in difficult times gives couples a sense of security and confidence in their marriage. In fact, many a couple has come undone in the aftermath of a crisis…

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The Bethlehem Prayer

Night sky over sand dunes

Through an imaginative encounter with the Holy Family at Bethlehem, God offers consolation and healing for our Family of Origin wounds. It’s very normal when exploring our Family of Origin to surface some pain or hurt.  This might express itself in a sense of loss at what could have been, or a sense of not…

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Marital Conflict Gone Global

When conflict arises in a marriage, it’s not uncommon for us to seek validation for being upset. So we look for ways to strengthen our case and justify our complaint against the other. If the issue has been building for a while, the temptation to globalise our complaint intensifies. Globalisation is a form of exaggeration.…

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#18 Anchored

In the summer of 2021, Tony Manfredonia, a songwriter, found himself on the brink of destroying his marriage. Lost in the relentless pursuit of career success, he had forsaken the most precious pillars of life: Love, Family, and Faith in God. His album, “ANCHORED”, is a testament to the snares of temptation that threaten to…

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#17 Accompanying The Abandoned

When a marriage breaks down, it’s rarely by mutual agreement. More commonly, one spouse wants to leave and the other wants to rebuild. For the abandoned spouse, it is bewildering, traumatic and distressing. Yet the situation is complicated – both spouses are in pain. How can we, as a community and as individuals accompany the…

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#16 Frustrated Marriage

Frustration, disillusionment, irritation – it’s common for spouses to experience a variety of disappointments in marriage. From mild and temporary setbacks, to sustained desolation, spouses are often unsure how to get out of the marital funk. In this episode we explore some key ideas to ease the marital frustration and regain serenity. Guest: Byron Pirola…

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