Communication
The Auto-Pilot Marriage
Crammed schedules, kids to care for, a demanding boss, the ever-present television. No wonder our attentiveness to our couple relationship erodes over time, leaving us with less connection, less spark, and less intimacy. Without an active, intentional mindset, most contemporary marriages end up on ‘auto-pilot’. During courtship, our relationship is central in our awareness and…
Read MoreMaking the connection: It’s easy with these three tips
In times of challenge and stress, it’s especially important to make the connection with each other. Here we offer three tips to make it easier. We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”,…
Read MoreHow to Forgive More Easily
We remember those long nights in the first year of our marriage. In the infancy of his career, Byron was often late home from work as he juggled the demands on his time. Initially, Francine was so grateful when he finally arrived that she didn’t register the hurt that his lateness caused. Over time and…
Read MoreMyths about Arguments
When it comes to marriage and relationship, there are a lot of myths out there. Here are five of the most common. Myth 1: Good couples don’t argue. The presence or absence of arguments is not a good indicator of the health of a marriage. Some couples who don’t argue are living detached, parallel lives.…
Read MoreThe Names we use Matter
Our second granddaughter finally has a name. Born over a month ago, her parents took their sweet, merry time before committing it to official record. In the interim, this bonny lass (her father is of Irish-Scottish descent) ‘tried on’ a dozen names before the right fit was found. Her name, Theresa Mairead, links her to…
Read MoreFrom Valentine to Valen-TIME
With St Valentine’s day approaching, couples everywhere are looking for ways to mark the day with romance. From love-struck dating couples to couples stressed out with kids, every one of us struggles to find time to… Just. Be. Together. Insufficient time together is one of the biggest contributors to relationship breakdown. Whether our relationship is…
Read MoreBe My Valen-time!
Insufficient time together is one of the biggest contributors to relationship breakdown. Whether our relationship is flying or sinking, time together is like a balm, healing the bumps and bruises of life and stimulating our feelings of affection and tenderness. And with Valentines’ Day approaching, it’s the perfect opportunity to give the gift of time.…
Read MoreWhat Women Really Want
Part 2 of the Quest for Happiness Series If equality in work isn’t the answer for making happy wives (see Smart Loving, The Equality Myth), what is? According to the same study that looked at the division of labour*, the best predictor of marital satisfaction among wives was emotional connection. ‘Emotion work’, as psychologists call…
Read MoreWindows of the Soul
A useful framework for developing our Emotional Intelligence, The Johari Window, helps us visualise how we can expand our self-awareness and deepen our intimacy. Picture a four-paned window that represents you. Within the window is everything that is known and unknown about you. It includes factual information such as your age, sex, which school you…
Read MoreFive Ways To Help A Struggling Marriage
We’ve all been in that situation. A friend or relative confides in us that they are having some marriage trouble. We want to help but knowing what to do that is genuinely helpful is tricky. Here are a few tips to keep in mind. Use your best listening skills: give your full attention, validate the…
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