Communication
Attention Deficit Marriages
In a fast-paced world, our attention is a rare and valuable commodity. Is your marriage suffering from attention deficit? True confession: some evenings you’ll find us sitting on the couch with the TV playing and us both on our laptops or other individual devices. We know; it’s not particularly noble and we have a sense…
Read More#9 Managing Differences
Different personalities. Different upbringing. Different education. Different sexes. Sometimes different ethnic or religious background. With so many differences between us, is it any wonder that making decisions as a couple is complicated and sometimes conflictual. We unpack the SmartLoving framework for managing differences and making couple decisions. Guest: Byron Pirola Francine’s husband they have been…
Read More#5 Thoughts Emotions Needs
We’ve already explored how to deepen our communication as a couple but focusing on sharing our interior life, specifically, sharing at the more intimate levels of Emotions and Needs. But how do emotions and needs relate to each other? And importantly, how do our thoughts impact our emotions? In this conversation we’re exploring these nuances…
Read MoreThe Power of Ritual
Routines can be very useful in keeping our lives purposeful and organized. Rituals are like routines with one important difference – they have positive emotional meaning. Rituals connect us with others by providing a focus or activity that enables us to interact together in an enjoyable and meaningful way. Almost anything can become a ritual…
Read MoreThe Auto-Pilot Marriage
Crammed schedules, kids to care for, a demanding boss, the ever-present television. No wonder our attentiveness to our couple relationship erodes over time, leaving us with less connection, less spark, and less intimacy. Without an active, intentional mindset, most contemporary marriages end up on ‘auto-pilot’. During courtship, our relationship is central in our awareness and…
Read MoreMaking the connection: It’s easy with these three tips
In times of challenge and stress, it’s especially important to make the connection with each other. Here we offer three tips to make it easier. We recently analysed the feedback from 400 participants in our online marriage preparation course. The results to the question, “On which of the following areas would you like more formation/education”,…
Read MoreHow to Forgive More Easily
We remember those long nights in the first year of our marriage. In the infancy of his career, Byron was often late home from work as he juggled the demands on his time. Initially, Francine was so grateful when he finally arrived that she didn’t register the hurt that his lateness caused. Over time and…
Read MoreMyths about Arguments
When it comes to marriage and relationship, there are a lot of myths out there. Here are five of the most common. Myth 1: Good couples don’t argue. The presence or absence of arguments is not a good indicator of the health of a marriage. Some couples who don’t argue are living detached, parallel lives.…
Read MoreThe Names we use Matter
Our second granddaughter finally has a name. Born over a month ago, her parents took their sweet, merry time before committing it to official record. In the interim, this bonny lass (her father is of Irish-Scottish descent) ‘tried on’ a dozen names before the right fit was found. Her name, Theresa Mairead, links her to…
Read MoreFrom Valentine to Valen-TIME
With St Valentine’s day approaching, couples everywhere are looking for ways to mark the day with romance. From love-struck dating couples to couples stressed out with kids, every one of us struggles to find time to… Just. Be. Together. Insufficient time together is one of the biggest contributors to relationship breakdown. Whether our relationship is…
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