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Know Your Spouse’s Unique Love Profile
Falling in love is a conversion experience. Most of us start out as self-centred individuals and suddenly find ourselves caring more about someone else’s happiness than we do our own. Some of the joy that we associate with being ‘in love’ is really that freedom to be outside of ourselves, caught up in the goodness…
Read MoreSmart Dating #5: The Raunch Woman
The Raunch Culture A fascinating trend has emerged in the last decade or two. ‘The Raunch Culture’ refers to a subgroup of single women who dress seductively and drink and talk like ‘one of the boys’. Indiscriminate sexual availability, coarse language, feigned obsession with all matters sporting and revealing clothes are standard. While some women…
Read MoreSmart Dating #4: You Are What You Do
Almost everyone aspires to a happy, life-long marriage. Surveys across different cultures and various age groups all point to the predominant desire for a loving and stable family life shared with a partner with whom one can work as a team for the good of the family. And why wouldn’t we? We all know that…
Read MoreSmart Dating #2: Ask ‘Why’ before you Try
Sexual Compatibility Since the 1960’s the slogan ‘try before you buy’ became a common excuse for premarital sex. It’s still popular today and has underpinned the rise in cohabitation. We’ve been led to believe that ‘sexual compatibility’ is the most influential factor in a successful marriage. Of course when you think it through, the line…
Read MoreCohabitation Myth
Many dating couples opt to live together before deciding to marry, because they believe that it is a responsible and prudent thing to do. They reason that cohabitating together will be like a trial marriage. They will learn all about each other’s habits and discover whether they are truly compatible. And when they do finally…
Read MoreChampions Make Champions
Anyone who has ever excelled in anything in life, be it music, sport or business, knows that if you want to be the best, you have to hang out with the best. Training with others who are dedicated to excellence in your chosen field helps advance your own ability. Not only do you learn from…
Read MoreSmart Dating #1: The Serial Relationship Trap
From university campuses to the work place, the unspoken rules of 21st century dating are that sex is expected, commitment and fidelity are optional, and marriage is a dirty word. Most people will enter a series of intense romantic relationships before marriage becomes a serious possibility, some starting the process of serial dating in their…
Read MoreComplaint to Request
The Unforeseen Truth While deep down we really love each other, all couples inevitably have ‘complaints’ about their spouse. They can be as simple as annoying habits, inconsistent behaviour and frustrating personality traits. Often, the very characteristics that first attracted us become the most infuriating ones of all. You fall in love with his sense…
Read MoreBoundaries
The proverb, “Good fences make good neighbours” has a great deal of wisdom. The concept of having clearly defined boundaries helps us to develop healthy relationships. When people know the limits of what they can demand from a relationship, it allows all parties to enjoy it. Hidden agendas evaporate and positive feeling in the relationship…
Read MoreThe Sleep Deprived Marriage
I remember my parents once advising us as newlyweds: ‘Don’t go cheap on your bed! One of the best things you can do for your marriage is make sure you get good sleep.’ At the time, we were rather bemused. However, nineteen years of marriage and five children later let there be no doubt, this…
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