Our family is a mess!

The Christmas Vigil Mass features the Gospel of Matthew (1:1-25). Depending on whether you get the long or short version, you might hear the genealogy of Jesus Christ – a rather long list of the forebears of Jesus, going all the way back to Abraham. It includes some of the most dysfunctional characters from the…

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When history repeats, choose freedom

We remember sitting with a young couple who were locked in combat. She was prone to reactive outbursts and he was mystified as to what he was doing to trigger it. As we probed her on her family of origin the penny dropped; she was repeating a relationship pattern that she had established with her…

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The Power of Ritual

Some years ago, we attended a Smart Marriages conference in the United States. One of the most memorable inputs was from Dr Bill Doherty, a family therapist and author. Over dinner, he engaged the audience in telling stories about their relationship rituals, before unpacking how rituals work to strengthen marriages. It confirmed for us some…

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A very grand Advent

It’s Advent again – the season of waiting. This year, our waiting takes on a special focus – we are awaiting the arrival of our first grandchild. Actually, Francine has been waiting for at least a decade for this child to arrive. Byron however, is still in deep denial – he’s far too young and…

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Love Busters and Love Builders

||love busters love builders

What are Love Busters and Love Builders? Love Builders: a behaviour or gesture which communicates love to you and helps you feel close and connected to your spouse. Some Examples: Cherishment Caring for me, being tender and gentle with me Being of service to me, doing things for me that I enjoy Nurturing me, doting…

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Two of Us: Affection

Understanding the role of affection in marriage Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer: Father it is so good to be with You.  You are so good to me and have been all my life. …

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