The Search for Meaning

Recently, we came across this video of Viktor Frankl giving a lecture on the Search for Meaning. In it he makes the point, that “if we take man as he is, we make him worse, but if we take him as he should be we make him capable of becoming what he can be”. Pointing…

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Complaint to Request

The Unforeseen Truth While deep down we really love each other, all couples inevitably have ‘complaints’ about their spouse. They can be as simple as annoying habits, inconsistent behaviour and frustrating personality traits. Often, the very characteristics that first attracted us become the most infuriating ones of all. You fall in love with his sense…

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Two of Us: Topics of Conversation

A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication       Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, I thank you for you and I thank you for myself  and I thank you for…

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Boundaries

The proverb, “Good fences make good neighbours” has a great deal of wisdom. The concept of having clearly defined boundaries helps us to develop healthy relationships. When people know the limits of what they can demand from a relationship, it allows all parties to enjoy it. Hidden agendas evaporate and positive feeling in the relationship…

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The Sleep Deprived Marriage

I remember my parents once advising us as newlyweds: ‘Don’t go cheap on your bed! One of the best things you can do for your marriage is make sure you get good sleep.’ At the time, we were rather bemused. However, nineteen years of marriage and five children later let there be no doubt, this…

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The Commitment Challenge #1

Commitment Phobia We’ve heard the phrase bandied around for years, but is it really as simple as someone being afraid of, or threatened by, making a commitment to his or her dating partner? Usually the ‘Commitment Phobia’ accusation is leveled towards the man in the relationship with the related belief that it comes down to…

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The Other Sex

Language Matters For years, advocates of inclusive language have been steadily drawing our attention to the clumsy use of language which can alienate various ethnic groups or religious adherents, the elderly, the young, the disabled, the poor, or even whole sexes. Why? Because language is more than just about communicating our thoughts effectively. Language is…

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The Art of Seduction

The Post-Marriage Paradox When it comes to winning the affections of a woman, most men think of flowers, jewellery, romantic dinners, and copious amounts of admiring comments about her looks. It works pretty well most of the time… until they get married and start a family. Now, these same gestures can sometimes, to his utter…

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Kiss Me Quick!

Sex or Nothing? Kissing is highly under-rated in our culture. Since the sexual revolution, sex has come to dominate romantic relationships and dominate our thinking about what it means to be sexually intimate. Even married couples of more traditional values, where sex is confined to within marriage, can fall victim to this sex-or-nothing thinking about…

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