Posts Tagged ‘intimacy’
When Desires Don’t Match
When couples marry they rightly expect that there will be a willing participation in a shared life together across a range of activities including sexual intimacy, intimate conversation and parenting for example. But what happens when there is a difference in the desire for the amount or style of one or more of these activities?…
Read MoreTwo of Us: Negativity
An exercise to help us grow in the area of ‘affirmation’ rather than ‘criticism’ to enrich our relationships rather than grid-lock them. Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes and then share your answers more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, You have chosen me to…
Read MoreTwo of Us: Sexual Influences
Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer You know, Father, one of the things that is best about You is making Mary, my mother. It takes my breath away that You could share…
Read MoreGender Differences: tolerated or celebrated?
For several dark decades last century, the god of political correctness demanded that we speak, think and act as though men and women were essentially identical. Thankfully, common sense has prevailed and it is now more acceptable to speak of gender differences. In fact, most of the best comedic literature on heterosexual relationships draw their…
Read MoreDaily Strongest Emotion
“Honey we need to talk!” Those five words strike unparalleled fear into a man’s heart. They usually mean an unpleasant message or a very long and arduous interaction. No wonder men dread these words! While women are marathon runners in the endurance conversation; men are optimised for the sprint encounter – fast, focussed, effective communication is…
Read MoreSpiritual Intimacy
It is often difficult for a couple to share their personal faith experiences with each other. This is so for couples of different faith traditions, but is also true even if they are of the same religion. We are trained to avoid talking about religion and politics in polite company because these topics are laden…
Read MoreLove Busters and Love Builders
What are Love Busters and Love Builders? Love Builders: a behaviour or gesture which communicates love to you and helps you feel close and connected to your spouse. Some Examples: Cherishment Caring for me, being tender and gentle with me Being of service to me, doing things for me that I enjoy Nurturing me, doting…
Read MoreThe BS Detector
Mind Over Matter ‘Mind Reading’ is one of those clairvoyant arts that seems to elude us when it comes to marriage. Too often we make the mistake of assuming that our spouse knows what we need without communicating clearly about it. How many times have we, or our spouse, declared in exasperation to the injured…
Read MoreKiss Me Quick!
Sex or Nothing? Kissing is highly under-rated in our culture. Since the sexual revolution, sex has come to dominate romantic relationships and dominate our thinking about what it means to be sexually intimate. Even married couples of more traditional values, where sex is confined to within marriage, can fall victim to this sex-or-nothing thinking about…
Read MoreMarried Singles Unhappily Ever After
We all start out in marriage with a dream; a dream of a life-long, love affair. But after a year or two, disillusionment sets in and the unreserved trust and intimacy we enjoyed becomes tentative and fragile. We join the army of other ‘married singles’ living our parallel lives and wishing that the other sex…
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