Posts Tagged ‘communication’
Complaint to Request
The Unforeseen Truth While deep down we really love each other, all couples inevitably have ‘complaints’ about their spouse. They can be as simple as annoying habits, inconsistent behaviour and frustrating personality traits. Often, the very characteristics that first attracted us become the most infuriating ones of all. You fall in love with his sense…
Read MoreTwo of Us: Topics of Conversation
A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, I thank you for you and I thank you for myself and I thank you for…
Read MoreThe Other Sex
Language Matters For years, advocates of inclusive language have been steadily drawing our attention to the clumsy use of language which can alienate various ethnic groups or religious adherents, the elderly, the young, the disabled, the poor, or even whole sexes. Why? Because language is more than just about communicating our thoughts effectively. Language is…
Read MoreThe BS Detector
Mind Over Matter ‘Mind Reading’ is one of those clairvoyant arts that seems to elude us when it comes to marriage. Too often we make the mistake of assuming that our spouse knows what we need without communicating clearly about it. How many times have we, or our spouse, declared in exasperation to the injured…
Read MoreMarried Singles Unhappily Ever After
We all start out in marriage with a dream; a dream of a life-long, love affair. But after a year or two, disillusionment sets in and the unreserved trust and intimacy we enjoyed becomes tentative and fragile. We join the army of other ‘married singles’ living our parallel lives and wishing that the other sex…
Read MoreSoulful Communication
Communication has long been seen as the key to a healthy marriage. Modern experts call into question this wisdom, suggesting that it is not communication, but connection that is the key to lasting marital happiness. Communication in relationships is often misunderstood. Most people think that good communication involves choosing the right words and learning how…
Read MoreFinding Reverse
Stuck in drive When visiting Rome recently, we borrowed a friend’s car to drive out of the city for a day. Everything was going fine (despite the fact that Roman drivers ignore the lane markings!), until we turned down a one way street the wrong way. Another car, traveling in the right direction, stopped, waiting…
Read MoreGender Bias in Intimacy
While almost everyone acknowledges that men and women are different, managing these differences is not so easy, especially in the area of intimacy. A woman’s preferred way of achieving intimacy is deep personal conversation, talking and sharing feelings, that is, verbal language. A man’s preferred way of achieving intimacy is physical bonding, touch and love…
Read MoreCommunication
When we promise to take one another, we promise to take all of that person – body, psyche and spirit. We take one another with all the beliefs, thoughts, feelings and attitudes that each has. We take the biases, prejudices, fears, and anxieties as well as all the dreams and expectations we each have for…
Read MoreBody Language
Pope John Paul II called marital sex a sacred body language, an act that communicated the total self-giving of husband to wife and wife to husband. This sacred meaning of sexual intercourse is built into the act itself and cannot be simply discarded or altered. The message of sex: “I give myself to you, freely,…
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