Two of Us: Sharing

Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes and then share your answers more fully with your spouse. Prayer You made me a good person, Father. It is important for You to help me realize that. When I fail, and You know that is too often, it…

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Respect & Cherishment

What’s the Diff? While everyone experiences love uniquely, some clear gender patterns have emerged through relationship research. In one study, when given the option between the negative choices of being ‘alone and unloved in all the world’ or ‘inadequate and disrespected by everyone’, 74% of men preferred be alone and unloved, compared to only minority…

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Two of Us: Openness in Communication

A couple exercise to establish openness between spouses with the ability to speak freely Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse.   Prayer Look with compassion upon me. Let Your love for me well in Your…

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Daily Strongest Emotion

“Honey we need to talk!” Those five words strike unparalleled fear into a man’s heart. They usually mean an unpleasant message or a very long and arduous interaction. No wonder men dread these words! While women are marathon runners in the endurance conversation; men are optimised for the sprint encounter – fast, focussed, effective communication is…

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Spiritual Intimacy

It is often difficult for a couple to share their personal faith experiences with each other. This is so for couples of different faith traditions, but is also true even if they are of the same religion. We are trained to avoid talking about religion and politics in polite company because these topics are laden…

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To Have and to Hold

The Meaning How often have we heard those classic words from the silver screen or at a church wedding!  At its most basic, “To Have and To Hold” refers to the physical embrace of husband and wife. “To have” is to receive without reservation the total self-gift of the other. It’s not a statement of…

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Two of Us: Topics of Conversation

A couple exercise to examine the patterns of our communication       Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Prayer Father, I thank you for you and I thank you for myself  and I thank you for…

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Married Singles Unhappily Ever After

We all start out in marriage with a dream; a dream of a life-long, love affair. But after a year or two, disillusionment sets in and the unreserved trust and intimacy we enjoyed becomes tentative and fragile. We join the army of other ‘married singles’ living our parallel lives and wishing that the other sex…

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Finding Reverse

Stuck in drive When visiting Rome recently, we borrowed a friend’s car to drive out of the city for a day. Everything was going fine (despite the fact that Roman drivers ignore the lane markings!), until we turned down a one way street the wrong way. Another car, traveling in the right direction, stopped, waiting…

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Gender Bias in Intimacy

Making sense of intimacy differences

While almost everyone acknowledges that men and women are different, managing these differences is not so easy, especially in the area of intimacy. A woman’s preferred way of achieving intimacy is deep personal conversation, talking and sharing feelings, that is, verbal language.  A man’s preferred way of achieving intimacy is physical bonding, touch and love…

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