#21 Beyond Feelings

The world of feelings is vitally important to life and relationships. But what does current research and best practice tell us about how to understand them, and orient them for the best outcomes in our relationships? Guest: Shawn Van der Linden (Bth, BSW, AMHSW) CatholicPsych Institute: Master Mentor and International Programs Consultant Managing Director: Altum…

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Attention Deficit Marriages

In a fast-paced world, our attention is a rare and valuable commodity. Is your marriage suffering from attention deficit? True confession: some evenings you’ll find us sitting on the couch with the TV playing and us both on our laptops or other individual devices. We know; it’s not particularly noble and we have a sense…

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Three Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

The benefit of hindsight! There’s not a couple on earth who doesn’t have some words of wisdom about marriage to share with the young. I came across this on Facebook and was immediately impressed with insights articulated by this newlywed husband. We hope the SmartLoving community will find it helpful, and we’d love to hear what…

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Spare the Left-Overs

It’s that time of year again – the season of joy and gluttony. By the time Christmas day is over, our refrigerator will be filled with yummy, delectable left-overs. Unfortunately, not all left-overs are so delicious. Too often in a marriage, instead of our best selves, we serve up the less than appetising left-overs. We…

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How Senior Couples Make Marriage Better

Senior couple

In a culture that glorifies youth and sanctions the euthanising of the sick and elderly, it’s easy to lose sight of the gift of seniors. Here are three ways that senior couples make marriage better for all of us. Earlier this year, Pope Francis released a series of homilies on the elderly. Each one explores…

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Why Reality TV Makes Us Stupider

These days we rightly talk a lot about exploitation and abuse. It comes in many forms and we worry we might walk past it without noticing. Recently 665,000 Australians not only walked past but sat and watched something that we should recognise for what it really is – workplace exploitation abuse. The airing of ‘reality’…

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Romantic Love: Feeling or Choice?

From Hollywood to Cleo, the cultural representations of Romantic Love are clear: it’s a spontaneous feeling of attraction and affection for another. And like all feelings, we don’t choose it: it’s something that just happens to us. We spontaneously ‘fall’ into love and we are powerless to prevent it. To be sure when it strikes,…

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Knot Yet! #5: Responsibility Phobia

What comes first, maturity or the responsibility? In the world of adultescence, the absence of the necessity to be responsible, delays maturity. Most of us look back at adolesence and shiver – it’s a tough time developmentally when the young person is reaching for independence but doesn’t quite have the mental resources to cope with adulthood. Many…

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Sexuality – A Resource for Loving

Sexuality touches upon every aspect of our personhood, body and soul, and it is expressed as either masculinity or femininity. It is developed and expressed primarily through relationships. Our masculinity or femininity draws us into relationship and makes us attractive to the other sex. When we are attracted to another, our good qualities are brought…

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The Catholic Family

In a very real way for Catholics and Christians, ‘church’ is a faith family. Like any family we may like some relatives more than others, but we will still dance at their weddings and cry at their funerals. It is not about being right or better. Like a family, it is simply a special belonging…

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