Social Attitudes
A Living Sign
It is no coincidence that Christ’s love can be expressed in sexual terms given: His desire to be one with us How passionately he pursues us How he gives his body and allows us to take him inside us He is always fully present and responsive to our needs He intimately knows us His love is…
Read MoreReality Check: Cohabitation
Cohabitation is a general term that refers to a number of different living arrangements. These comments refer to those couples who are both living together and also sexually active, (that is, they are not just sharing a residence as friends) and are not in a permanent alternative to marriage (de-facto relationship). Despite the widely held…
Read MoreOne Again
Adopt a structured Reconciliation Process Because you are not at your best when you have been hurt, it is wise to have a formal process that you have agreed on in advance. You can reconcile using the Stop-Reflect-Connect & L.I.F.E. tools together. Step 1: Stop! Separate. When you’re hurt, it’s easy to say hurtful things…
Read MoreName It & Tame It
Once you have named your formation, you are in a position to tame it – to consciously choose to reinforce that formation which is helpful and constructive, or to change the formation that is problematic for you. There are three common patterns of problem formation: Incompatible Expectations arise as a result of the differences in…
Read MoreReconciliation
Love means more tha saying “I’m sorry” Concept: Forgiveness Forgiveness is not an emotion. Forgiveness is a choice; a choice to let go of your resentment against your fiancé. Forgiveness is a vital step to the restoration of your unity. There’s a difference between the ‘I’ centred statement “I’m sorry”, and the other centred statement,…
Read MoreRestoring Unity
Be angry but do not sin. Do not let the sun set on your anger. Ephesians 4:26 Reconciliation and healing can be a great source of growth and grace in a couple’s relationship. Reconciliation teaches couples how to be more sensitive to the other’s feelings and needs and how to love the other more effectively.…
Read MoreSeven Deadly Habits
Research by Dr. John Gottman and others has helped us to understand the specific behaviours which are so deadly for marriages. He is able to predict with high degree of accuracy whether a couple will divorce, by the way they argue.* You’ll want to avoid these Seven Deadly Habits that characterise marriages headed for bust.…
Read MoreConflict
What distinguishes couples in lasting marriages from those in more fragile ones, is not the absence of arguments, but the presence of respect and cherishment. When couples fight, what hurts is not the fact that their spouse disagrees with them, it is the contempt and indifference with which it is often packaged. Contempt – the…
Read MoreStop. Reflect. Connect.
FOR DECISION MAKING Whenever you are making a difficult or important decision, or disagree about how to go about something, the Stop-Reflect-Connect tool for Decision Making can be used. It helps you to avoid an argument by refocusing you on your priority – your fiancé and your relationship. Stop! Before the disagreement escalates to an…
Read MoreEmbracing the Other’s Value
The call to unity is a call to be predisposed to see things from a couple perspective, taking the other into account and embracing that which affects one as affecting both. …Making what is important to your fiancé important to you… When you make what is important to your fiancé important to you, they will…
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