Married Couples
Walking the Talk is More Than You Think
This morning a friend from Canberra forwarded us a reflection on walking called: Keep Moving. It noted that walking was good for physical health but that it is also good for spiritual health. It recalled the many stories of the New Testament where Jesus and/or the disciples were walking, not just physically from one place…
Read MoreSpiritual intimacy shouldn’t be taboo
Religious practice and spiritual belief is often a point of difference for couples, especially if they come from different religious traditions. But having religious differences should never be a reason for avoiding a topic or making it taboo. Even for couples of the same faith like us, differences persist and make sharing our spiritual life…
Read MoreWhen history repeats, choose freedom
We remember sitting with a young couple who were locked in combat. She was prone to reactive outbursts and he was mystified as to what he was doing to trigger it. As we probed her on her family of origin the penny dropped; she was repeating a relationship pattern that she had established with her…
Read MoreLove in the Waiting
Advent is the season of waiting; we wait in anticipation of the coming of Christ. But are we the only ones doing the waiting? I (Francine) was hurrying to get out the door for 7am Mass. I looked at the time on the car clock and sighed in defeat: 6:58. There was no way I’d…
Read MoreThe Passion Principle
One of the great delights of running marriage enrichment retreats for couples, is hearing all the amazing love stories. From beginning to end, every one of them has mystery, radical self-sacrifice and epic persistence in some capacity. We often joke that our own love story is more akin to a soap opera than real life…
Read MoreThe Power of Ritual
Some years ago, we attended a Smart Marriages conference in the United States. One of the most memorable inputs was from Dr Bill Doherty, a family therapist and author. Over dinner, he engaged the audience in telling stories about their relationship rituals, before unpacking how rituals work to strengthen marriages. It confirmed for us some…
Read MoreUndoing the Knots is Easier than you Think
September 28 marks the feast of Mary Undoer of Knots. The devotion is over 300 years old and is based on a Baroque painting by an unknown artist located in Germany. The painting features angels feeding a knotted rope to Mary who unties the knots one by one. It was inspired by an ancient homily…
Read MoreChange Starts Here
Part 4 of It Takes One to Tango. See others in this series here, here. and here. All change in our relationships should start with ourselves. While it’s comforting to be able to blame our spouse for the inadequacies of our marriage, expecting them to change to meet our demands is not only ineffective, it’s not…
Read MoreSay a little prayer for marriage
In October a few years ago, the Australian bishops called the entire Catholic community to pray for marriage and family. The initiative was joined by around thirty other Christian churches making it the largest ever prayer campaign in the nation. It raises the question: does prayer really make a difference? Cynics might say that a…
Read MoreRomantic Love: Feeling or Choice?
From Hollywood to Cleo, the cultural representations of Romantic Love are clear: it’s a spontaneous feeling of attraction and affection for another. And like all feelings, we don’t choose it: it’s something that just happens to us. We spontaneously ‘fall’ into love and we are powerless to prevent it. To be sure when it strikes,…
Read More