Married Couples
#3 Your Family of Origin
Our family of origin is the most influential formation because our early childhood experiences created the foundation through which all other experiences were interpreted. We like to think that we are independent thinkers and our own person. The truth is, we are products of our upbringing and experiences. Guest: Would you be willing to join…
Read MoreChange Reaction
It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship….
Read MoreMarriage Lessons from a Dog Trainer
A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions. Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained? When the time came to…
Read MoreThe Power of Ritual
Routines can be very useful in keeping our lives purposeful and organized. Rituals are like routines with one important difference – they have positive emotional meaning. Rituals connect us with others by providing a focus or activity that enables us to interact together in an enjoyable and meaningful way. Almost anything can become a ritual…
Read MoreToo Hasty to Judge
In the age of instant news, judgment falls hastily. In marriage also, we are often quick to judge each other. Like most couples, over thirty plus years of marriage, we’ve had quite a few misunderstandings. Sadly, many of these escalated to painful arguments where hurtful things were said, and our unity was damaged. The reason?…
Read MoreThe Auto-Pilot Marriage
Crammed schedules, kids to care for, a demanding boss, the ever-present television. No wonder our attentiveness to our couple relationship erodes over time, leaving us with less connection, less spark, and less intimacy. Without an active, intentional mindset, most contemporary marriages end up on ‘auto-pilot’. During courtship, our relationship is central in our awareness and…
Read MoreRestoring hope in life long marriage
Divorce creates a problem for us, a cognitive dissonance: Love is not permanent, vast, unrelenting, faithful. Redefining the ideals we have for marriage however, leads to more divorce and pain, not less.
Read MoreFive Ways to Build Trust
Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what we believe is the best course of action. It triggers us both for different…
Read MoreThe Family Models Synodality
Only two of our five children, now adults, still reside with us. As resident adults, we respect their right to make decisions about their personal life, but we also impose some house rules. For example, we require them to communicate about their movements, tidy their rooms, do their own laundry, and participate in the preparation…
Read MoreBest Lent Ever…For Your Spouse!
While lots of people make resolutions for the New Year, most of these optimistic beginnings fizzle out before the end of January. Thankfully, Lent gives we Christians another, and a better, chance of success. One year, about two decades ago, a close friend of ours shared with us how she decided to give up blame…
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