Married Couples
Virtue in Action
In many of our courses, we teach couples strategies and skills for navigating relationships more effectively. As important as these frameworks are, research suggests that they are not the critical factor in avoiding divorce or building a successful marriage. Rather, the key appears to lie elsewhere, in the practice of virtues. Virtues are personal characteristics…
Read MoreTeaching love to university students
Later this year, population experts and pronatalists will meet in Texas to explore practical solutions to declining worldwide fertility. It’s one of several signs that attitudes to fertility rates are shifting. Fertility rates have been in decline for decades, and not just in developed countries like North America, Europe and Australia. China and India have…
Read MoreHow can I make your day better?
I read a blog post recently from a husband who brought his marriage back from the brink with this one simple, daily habit. Each morning he asked his wife: how can I make your day better? The wife was suspicious at first and deliberately gave him tedious and demanding tasks, like cleaning out the garage,…
Read MoreSpare the Left-Overs
It’s that time of year again – the season of joy and gluttony. By the time Christmas day is over, our refrigerator will be filled with yummy, delectable left-overs. Unfortunately, not all left-overs are so delicious. Too often in a marriage, instead of our best selves, we serve up the less than appetising left-overs. We…
Read MoreMore than “I’m Sorry”
Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness are two very different factors in resolving arguments. Saying Sorry is Simple We were in the midst of yet another disagreement. We were both hurt, and we knew it was time to let go of our case and make up. But it’s hard to say sorry. It’s even harder…
Read MoreGoing From Good To Better
Marital health is about more than minimizing conflict. If we want to go from ‘good’ to ‘better’ we need to capitalise on the positives. Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a ‘damage control’ approach that…
Read MoreKnowing what to love
You can’t love what you don’t know. This saying has profoundly influenced our marriage and our faith. About once a decade we book tickets to the opera in the expectation of a romantic date night brimming with artistic delight. We have to confess though, we usually come home vaguely disappointed. Not being particularly musical, we…
Read MoreAttachment Style and Marriage
Our earliest experiences of love and care profoundly influence what we each bring into our marriage. Attachment Theory illuminates how. As infants, we are completely dependent on our parents for basic physical needs like food and clothing. We also rely on them to provide affection, stimulation and soothing of distress. Research shows that the rapid…
Read MoreThe Growth Mindset
At our daughter’s recent award assembly, the school Principal addressed the topic of ‘Growth Mindset’. She noted how education was more than merely preparing students for exams and aiming for maximum marks on their university entrance ranking. In a country where we have national examinations of all school children every two years from the age…
Read MorePower of Prayer
Prayer does not change God, it does not always change the situation, but it does change the heart of the person praying. Many people do not trust prayer, or doubt it’s power to have an impact. After all, we’ve all had experiences of praying earnestly for something, only to be disappointed when what we sought…
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