Hear Me, Touch Me, Know Me

In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…

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#9 Managing Differences

Different personalities. Different upbringing. Different education. Different sexes. Sometimes different ethnic or religious background. With so many differences between us, is it any wonder that making decisions as a couple is complicated and sometimes conflictual. We unpack the SmartLoving framework for managing differences and making couple decisions. Guest: Byron Pirola Francine’s husband they have been…

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That Romantic Atmosphere

On Friday afternoon we went on a bush walk with Byron’s work colleagues. Although we were with other people, we so enjoyed the time together. Walking is remarkably therapeutic for us… perhaps it’s the natural environment or maybe it’s simply the absence of the constant phone, email and text distraction. Whatever it is, is not…

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Sexual Differences – Respect & Cherishment

Gender differences – Respect & Cherishment WP

When we understand our sexual differences, we are empowered to use them constructively to build great relationships.  We’ve always maintained that our differences are something to celebrate; that they allow us to more deeply appreciate the unique contribution we each make to our shared life. We can be different, with differing abilities in various areas,…

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Marriage is not a Partnership

Housework: It’s often a topic of debate among couples, and truth be told, we’ve had our own dramas in this area over the years. We have very different values and expressions when it comes to housework. Byron is particular about floors and will often be found with a broom, mop or vacuum cleaner in hand.…

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Retired, Extremely Dangerous

A few weeks ago, we watched the action comedy R.E.D. featuring Bruce Willis as retired black ops agent whose peaceful retirement is disrupted by a CIA order to eliminate him. The comedy rests in the ridiculously casual way the characters approach their killing careers. RED, it turns out stands for his classification: ‘retired, extremely dangerous’.…

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Video: The Sexy Lie

“Caroline Heldman, the chair of the Politics department at Occidental College, explains to her audience what sexual objectification is and why girls are taught that it can be empowering when the reality is far from that. This video is meant for both men and women. We all need to be more informed in order for…

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Loving Smarter

How can an otherwise intelligent man be such a dumb lover? For over twenty years I have bought my wife those very expensive chocolates to show her I love her, only to slooowly realise that for her it was more of an annoyance than a gift of love.  I love chocolate and find gift giving…

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An Unexpected Anniversary Gift

Only a man would attempt this… (Originally found somewhere in the depths of Facebook)   A guy who purchased his lovely wife a pocket Tazer for their anniversary submitted this: Last weekend I saw something at Larry’s Pistol & Pawn Shop that sparked my interest. The occasion was our 15th anniversary and I was looking…

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