Blog
Attachment Style and Marriage
Our earliest experiences of love and care profoundly influence what we each bring into our marriage. Attachment Theory illuminates how. As infants, we are completely dependent on our parents for basic physical needs like food and clothing. We also rely on them to provide affection, stimulation and soothing of distress. Research shows that the rapid…
Read MoreThe Growth Mindset
At our daughter’s recent award assembly, the school Principal addressed the topic of ‘Growth Mindset’. She noted how education was more than merely preparing students for exams and aiming for maximum marks on their university entrance ranking. In a country where we have national examinations of all school children every two years from the age…
Read MoreTogether again… for stronger and better
Contrary to popular belief, separation does not always end in divorce. Well supported, the process of separation can help a couple address their problems and reconcile stronger and better. Reconciliation between separated couples is not that uncommon – about 10-15% according to some commentators. Although headed for divorce, these couples reversed course and repaired their…
Read MoreSexual Integrity in a Messed-up World
Last month we convened a national symposium to explore how we, as a church community, might pastorally respond more effectively to those impacted by pornography. While not a fun topic, it is an important one. Important for three reasons. Firstly, pornography usage has been normalised and is now endemic, and not just among men, or…
Read MoreMarriage or Matrimony?
People call a lot of relationships ‘marriage’. Everything from cohabitation (common law marriage) to civil contracts (secular marriage) to the Judeo-Christian concept of covenant. In a Christian marriage there is a desire for the marriage to be open to the Lord and a willingness to look to scripture and the Church community for direction. If…
Read MoreMaking marriage last is all in the Intention
No matter how easy it may seem to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. We all start out in marriage bright in hope and full of brimming love. Yet rarely do those wonderful, euphoric experiences of early love persist unabated; for many of us disillusionment creeps its way into our consciousness…
Read MoreThe Ecology of the Body
When we were preparing for marriage some decades ago, we undertook training in Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs). As graduates in biological science, we got right into the study and application in anticipation of beginning married life. Five years and three children later, we took up a leadership role in the fertility awareness space and Francine…
Read MoreDeep Impact Conversations
“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…
Read MoreUnplanned Childlessness
“My daughters are in their thirties. They always hoped to marry and planned to be starting a family by now. It is so hard to see them grieving this loss.” It’s a common story we hear among our peers. Their single children are in their twenties, thirties and forties. Many of these are well past…
Read MoreOur Father-in-Awe
Earlier this week, Francine had a routine medical procedure. Predictably, one of the nurses asked, “Are you related to Professor Pirola?” She was referring to Byron’s father, a recently-retired medical specialist who enjoyed a long career in our local community. “Yes”, Francine replied, “He’s my father-in-awe”*. That brought a laugh, before the inevitable follow up…
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