Blog
Editing Ourselves
Balancing honesty with kindness & Effectiveness We live in a culture that champions unfiltered self-expression. We’re told that honesty is the ultimate virtue in relationships – that I have a right to say what’s on my mind, whenever I feel like it, and that our spouse should be ready to listen. It’s a message that…
Read MoreWhen I am winning, WE are usually losing
“You can either be right, or you can be one, but you can’t be both”. Our mentors were talking to us about a frustrating argument, and we were both digging in. They were right, of course, but we struggled to put it into practice. It would not be the last time either. Like just…
Read MoreOur Way or God’s Way?
Finding Harmony in the Catholic Wedding Vows We often find ourselves chatting with engaged couples who want to write their own wedding vows. They tell us the traditional language feels stiff or too generic, and we get it—their love is unique, and they want their words to reflect that. It’s entirely understandable, and it…
Read MoreIntentional Relationship
No matter how easy it is to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. Most people drift into love, marriage and family without a whole lot of conscious planning about the kind of relationship they want to have five, 10 or 20 years down the track. Whether you are married, engaged…
Read MoreHow to Help a Struggling Marriage – A Catholic Guide
“I wanted to help, but I didn’t know how.” If you’ve been in the position of having a friend, parishioner, or family member confide their marital problems, you’re in the majority – 69% of adult men and 78% of adult women have been there. For priests, we suspect that number reaches 100%. Unless you’ve had…
Read MoreKeeping Love Alive in the Present Moment
Our romantic memories are the fabric of our couple history. When we reconnect with these memories, we reinvigorate our emotional connection in the present and set a positive tone for our future together. The Power of Memory The Hebrew word for “remember” literally means “make me present to you.” This beautiful insight captures the true…
Read MorePursuing a Lasting Love
Lessons from St. Valentine | A reflection for World Marriage Day 2025 As we approach World Marriage Day on February 9th, we are reminded of another celebrated figure of marital devotion – St. Valentine. Today, his name evokes thoughts of flowers and romantic dinners. Yet St. Valentine’s true legacy speaks to something far more…
Read MoreThe Gift of #staretime
A corporate leader in India recently made headlines by suggesting his employees should work a 90-hour week, quipping, “What do you do sitting at home? How long can you stare at your wife, how long can the wife stare at her husband?” His remarks sparked quite the reaction, with some couples posting photos of themselves…
Read MoreDefending our hearts
Is defensiveness crippling your relationship? Do you feel regularly on edge, reactive and punchy? Read on for our process for managing defensiveness. Recently, Byron shared a new idea with Francine. Instead of encouragement, Francine responded with “when will you get time to do that?!” The conversation immediately terminated in gloomy withdrawal. Afterwards we unpacked the…
Read MoreVirtue in Action
In many of our courses, we teach couples strategies and skills for navigating relationships more effectively. As important as these frameworks are, research suggests that they are not the critical factor in avoiding divorce or building a successful marriage. Rather, the key appears to lie elsewhere, in the practice of virtues. Virtues are personal characteristics…
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