Search Results: listening
Being God’s presence to those we Accompany
Pope Francis has called Catholic communities to accompany couples at various stages. What does accompaniment look like, and is there anything special about a Catholic version? A few years back, our 23-year-old son found himself accompanying a stranger. At the time he was working for a building company that specialised in upgrades and maintenance for…
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Hear Me, Touch Me, Know Me
In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…
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Stonewalling: A Silent Killer in Marriage
Stonewalling – aka ‘the silent treatment’ – is common in many marriages. Never helpful and poorly understood, we ignore it at our risk. Stonewalling is the practice of withdrawing from an interaction, shutting down and closing ourselves off from the other. We may be physically still present, but we become un-responsive, emotionally withdrawn, and non-communicative.…
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How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble
When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve…
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#21 Beyond Feelings
The world of feelings is vitally important to life and relationships. But what does current research and best practice tell us about how to understand them, and orient them for the best outcomes in our relationships? Guest: Shawn Van der Linden (Bth, BSW, AMHSW) CatholicPsych Institute: Master Mentor and International Programs Consultant Managing Director: Altum…
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#17 Accompanying The Abandoned
When a marriage breaks down, it’s rarely by mutual agreement. More commonly, one spouse wants to leave and the other wants to rebuild. For the abandoned spouse, it is bewildering, traumatic and distressing. Yet the situation is complicated – both spouses are in pain. How can we, as a community and as individuals accompany the…
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The Science, Art and Spirit of Communication
Communication is fundamental to our relationships and the flourishing of families. If we want to do it well, there is a science, art and spirit to communication. We all like to think of ourselves as good communicators. Unfortunately, what that usually means is: I have lots to say and I’m not afraid to say it!…
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Five Strategies to Improve your Marriage
Is it possible to improve a troubled marriage without the cooperation of our spouse? Read on for our top five strategies to improve your marriage. A lot of people feel trapped in a dissatisfying or troubled marriage. They feel powerless to ‘fix’ it because their spouse refuses to join them in counselling or a marriage…
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Seven Habits of Effective Communicators
Almost everyone agrees that communication – good communication – is essential to successful relationships. But what constitutes ‘good’ communication? The answer to that all depends on our goals, which will be different for various relationships and dependent on the circumstances. If our goal is to give clear instructions to an employee, it will call for…
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Attention Deficit Marriages
In a fast-paced world, our attention is a rare and valuable commodity. Is your marriage suffering from attention deficit? True confession: some evenings you’ll find us sitting on the couch with the TV playing and us both on our laptops or other individual devices. We know; it’s not particularly noble and we have a sense…
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