Change Starts Here

Part 4 of It Takes One to Tango. See others in this series here, here. and here. All change in our relationships should start with ourselves. While it’s comforting to be able to blame our spouse for the inadequacies of our marriage, expecting them to change to meet our demands is not only ineffective, it’s not…

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From Valentine to Valen-TIME

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With Valentine’s day approaching, couples everywhere are looking for ways to mark the day with romance. From love-struck dating couples to couples stressed out with kids, every one of us struggles to find time to… Just. Be. Together. Insufficient time together is one of the biggest contributors to relationship breakdown. Whether our relationship is flying…

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Retired, Extremely Dangerous

A few weeks ago, we watched the action comedy R.E.D. featuring Bruce Willis as retired black ops agent whose peaceful retirement is disrupted by a CIA order to eliminate him. The comedy rests in the ridiculously casual way the characters approach their killing careers. RED, it turns out stands for his classification: ‘retired, extremely dangerous’.…

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TIME – The Currency of Relationships

There’s an old adage in the world of parenting advice: Kids spell LOVE as T.I.M.E. Kids don’t need things nearly much as they need a parent’s attention and availability. It’s a classic mistake that we make all too often; we give them stuff we’ve bought instead of the thing they most need from us –…

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Know What You Want

Part 3 of It Takes One to Tango Perhaps you’ve heard the saying: Failure to plan is a plan to fail. So many people fail to experience the fullness of their ambitions in all sorts of areas such as health, friendships, career etc. simply because they fail to plan. Without a plan, we are like a…

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Marriage Enemy #1: Lethargy

We asked a marriage counselor friend of ours about why a marriage fails. We were expecting a long complex answer so we already had a bottle of wine open. Yet her answer was short. According to her, if there are no addictions or mental illness involved, then most marriages fail through simple, straight-forward laziness. Almost…

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The Commitment Challenge #3

Sex and Committed Relationships In a recent discussion at a youth conference, it was put to us by some of the participants that pre-marital sex was acceptable as long as it was a ‘committed’ relationship. Casual sex was seen to be inappropriate and perhaps dangerous, but if the couple were in a committed dating situation,…

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Addicted to Busy

Busy Bees “I’m a very busy person. Don’t waste my time!” How often have we heard that line! Busyness in our culture has become endemic. We don’t know anybody who isn’t busy. Even retirees are busy. Our kids are busier than we ever were, running from this activity, to that ball game, to those training…

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