Two Sides to Relationship Repair

Periods of disconnection are an unfortunate part of every marriage. Relationship Repair takes both an initiator and receiver. Disconnection has happened frequently in our marriage, even for newlyweds. It might have been the result of a hurtful action, a careless comment, an argument, or just insufficient time together. We’ve written about a number of disconnection…

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The Art of Apology

Have you ever experienced the situation when someone has apologised but, while the words were said it lacked something, making it difficult for you to accept it? Sadly, most of us are not as good at apologising as we need to be. We think that it’s obvious, should just be instinctual, or that our love…

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Mercy – a work in progress for couples

We are yet to meet a married couple who have not hurt each other deeply at some stage. Selfishness, laziness, thoughtlessness, anger, carelessness; they all have the potential to inflict deep wounds on the other, sometimes without our knowledge or intention. Unless couples learn the lessons of mercy, these common human frailties can bring a…

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Francis: Three Magic Words

Three Magic Words On St Valentine’s Day this year, Pope Francis gathered with 20,000 Engaged Couples to encourage them in their journey. Reflecting on the ‘art’ of married life, Francis noted that it is “a patient, beautiful and fascinating journey” which doesn’t end when we win over each other’s heart. On the contrary it is…

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Three Magic Words

Three Magic Words On St Valentine’s Day this year, Pope Francis gathered with 20,000 Engaged Couples to encourage them in their journey. Reflecting on the ‘art’ of married life, Francis noted that it is “a patient, beautiful and fascinating journey” which doesn’t end when we win over each other’s heart. On the contrary it is…

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More than “I’m Sorry”

Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness are two very different factors in resolving arguments. Saying Sorry is Simple We were in the midst of yet another disagreement. We were both hurt, and we knew it was time to let go of our case and make up. But it’s hard to say sorry. It’s even harder…

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Finding Reverse

Stuck in drive When visiting Rome recently, we borrowed a friend’s car to drive out of the city for a day. Everything was going fine (despite the fact that Roman drivers ignore the lane markings!), until we turned down a one way street the wrong way. Another car, traveling in the right direction, stopped, waiting…

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Reconciliation

Love needs more than "I'm sorry".

Love means more than saying “I’m sorry”. There’s a difference between the ‘I’ centred statement “I’m sorry”, and the other centred statement, “Will you please forgive me?” The ‘I’ centred statement simply acknowledges a fact. A person might recognise that they behaved poorly, inconsiderately, insensitively, thoughtlessly or carelessly. They might also just want to move…

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Autopsy of an Argument

Recovering from an Argument

How do you recover from the carnage of an argument? Here’s a game plan to help you heal the rift and learn from the experience! 1. Stop:  Allow yourselves time to cool off. Separate and practice some self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing, taking a walk, having a cup of tea, meditating, consciously relaxing each part…

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Trinity Prayer

For a deeper experience of couple prayer and you may like to try the Trinity Prayer. This simple format: incorporates worship of God the Father with affirmation of your spouse, promotes reconciliation and unity through the confession to Jesus of your limitations and failure to love, empowers you with graces from the Holy Spirit to…

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