Posts Tagged ‘family of origin’
Leaving and cleaving for the sake of our marriage
A few years ago, Francine was a guest on Vision Radio for marriage week. One of the callers shared how his and his wife’s early ‘family of origin’ formation had caused them a lot of conflict. Their differences in expectations and values had caused them a great deal of grief. All married couples will experience…
Read MoreThe Easy Way or God’s Way?
Sometimes, poor formation is obvious. Other times, we may not readily recognise its detrimental impact because it seems so natural and compatible. But is the easy way always the best way? Or might God be calling us to something more than what we inherited from our families. Most of the time, the disagreements we have…
Read More#3 Your Family of Origin
Our family of origin is the most influential formation because our early childhood experiences created the foundation through which all other experiences were interpreted. We like to think that we are independent thinkers and our own person. The truth is, we are products of our upbringing and experiences. Guest: Would you be willing to join…
Read MoreWhen history repeats, choose freedom
We remember sitting with a young couple who were locked in combat. She was prone to reactive outbursts and he was mystified as to what he was doing to trigger it. As we probed her on her family of origin the penny dropped; she was repeating a relationship pattern that she had established with her…
Read MoreProgrammed for love or for trouble?
We were recently hosted overnight in the country home of friends. It was a beautiful experience in every way. Our hosts greeted us with warmth, housed us in a tastefully appointed bedroom and nourished us with a delightful meal. Their home was a beauty to behold; magnificent views overlooking the valley, landscaped gardens and an…
Read MoreTrigger warning: there’s a landmine below
Over the previous columns we have been exploring how our formation from our family of origin can continue to impact us and our marriage negatively. In this article we want to unpack the third and final way our formation experiences play out – through emotional injuries. Some years ago, Francine purchased a new espresso machine.…
Read MoreLike Parent, Like Child
The most powerful influence on a couple is their family of origin. Good or bad, our experiences in our childhood prepared us for marriage. The young couple sitting opposite us had been married only a few years. They were experiencing some health challenges, but this is not what brought them to us; they were locked…
Read MoreInfluences of the Family of Origin
Our Family of Origin has enormous impact on the formation of our ideas and expectations for our relationships. Ron and Kathy Feher explore some influential factors.
Read MoreParental Hurts
Ron and Kathy Feher explain how emotional injuries from one’s parents or family of origin can influence our behaviour into our adulthood and impact on our marriage.
Read MoreCompatible and Sub-optimal Formation
Ron and Kathy Feher explain how some aspects of one’s family of origin are compatible can still be harmful to our marriage. That is, we might both have a similar formation in a particular area, but it might be suboptimal in terms of the relationship.
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