My Many Marriages

We all understand that our marriages go through their ups and downs, but we often don’t appreciate that they also go through fundamental changes over the years. We have come to realise that we have actually had several marriages already in our 26 years together. For example, there was the ‘newlywed marriage’ where we were…

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Why you don’t know he’s bad for you

February 20, 2014 By Agi Reefman Most of us have either seen it or done it. The great girl who is going out with (to put it nicely) a guy who’s in need of some personal growth. “What does she see in him?” You ask. “She can do so much better!” “Why does she let…

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Two of Us: Personal Habits

A couple exercise to recognise your habits, both good and bad, in relation to your spouse and understand the values behind each of your expressions of emotion.   Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes and then share your answers more fully with your spouse.    …

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Two of Us: Our Commitment

A couple exercise to explore your level of commitment Reflect Separately, say the prayer and spend some time reflecting on the questions. Write some notes so that you can share more fully with your spouse. Answer the following questions in terms of your spouse. Prayer What a wonderful Father You are.  It is so good to…

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Cohabitation #3: Commitment Delay

What impact does cohabitation have on the stability of the future marriage? In this third part of the series looking at why divorce is around 50% higher for couples who previously cohabitated we look at the phenomenon of Commitment Delay. It is well known that the age at first marriage is getting older. Over the…

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Cohabitation #2: Commitment Creep

Cultural wisdom dictates that couples are sensible to live together before committing to marriage. Research demonstrates that in fact, this practice undermines the future marriage rather than supports it.   This is the second in a series on cohabitation myths. As couples become more involved, their living arrangements become increasingly entangled. Shared possessions, friends, pets…

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Is Cohabitation Different to Marriage?

Is cohabitation different to marriage? Lots of cohabitors will say ‘no’. We regularly hear comments to the effect: “We’ve been living together for 5 years – we’re just as committed as any married couple!” They seem offended by the suggestion that couples in marriage would be seen as more committed than they are. We recall…

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