The Daily ‘I do’ When You’d Rather Not

At a recent business conference, a speaker made an offhand remark about having to recommit to her marriage vows every day. It was in the context of a discussion about the challenges of change management and how reforming a company culture requires persistence and recommitment in the face of setbacks and resistance. It was an…

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Three Things I Wish I Knew Before We Got Married

The benefit of hindsight! There’s not a couple on earth who doesn’t have some words of wisdom about marriage to share with the young. I came across this on Facebook and was immediately impressed with insights articulated by this newlywed husband. We hope the SmartLoving community will find it helpful, and we’d love to hear what…

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Commitment

In his book, ‘The Power of Commitment‘, Scott Stanley (USA) provides some very useful insights into the nature of commitment. He identifies two types of relationship commitment: constraints and dedication. Constraint Commitment Constraint commitment refers to the ‘forces’ that resist the separation of a couple even when one or both partners would prefer to leave…

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Burn the Boats

A recent analysis of modern day wedding vows reveal around a third of couples shunning the traditional commitment for life. According to the results, 34% dumped the phrase ‘until death do us part’. This really shouldn’t surprise us as the prevailing messages young couples hear is that divorce is not only commonplace, it’s also to…

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Five Ways to Build Trust

Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what we believe is the best course of action. It triggers us both for different…

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Our family is a mess!

The Christmas Vigil Mass features the Gospel of Matthew (1:1-25). Depending on whether you get the long or short version, you might hear the genealogy of Jesus Christ – a rather long list of the forebears of Jesus, going all the way back to Abraham. It includes some of the most dysfunctional characters from the…

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How can I make your day better?

I read a blog post recently from a husband who brought his marriage back from the brink with this one simple, daily habit. Each morning he asked his wife: how can I make your day better? The wife was suspicious at first and deliberately gave him tedious and demanding tasks, like cleaning out the garage,…

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Video: Many Voices, One Promise

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This is a magnificent tribute to the glorious commitment that is marriage. Drawn from multiple cultural and religious traditions, the video celebrates and honours the beauty of the marriage commitment. It is one of a series from Humanum Enjoy!

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A marriage of contention

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What seems hard in marriage is often doing us good A few weeks ago, we were invited to attend an event featuring Jordan Peterson. Curious to see this Canadian psychologist and academic, who was touring Australia with sell-out audiences, we took up the offer. One of the questions put to him by an audience member,…

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