#4 Communication

Communication is one of the key topics that couples say is so important. While most engaged couples believe they are great at communication, many married couples say they could use some help. What’s going on? Did these couples somehow unlearn how to communicate? Join us as we explore communication – the pitfalls, the benefits, and…

Read More

Too Hasty to Judge

In the age of instant news, judgment falls hastily. In marriage also, we are often quick to judge each other. Like most couples, over thirty plus years of marriage, we’ve had quite a few misunderstandings. Sadly, many of these escalated to painful arguments where hurtful things were said, and our unity was damaged. The reason?…

Read More

Going From Good To Better

Marital health is about more than minimizing conflict. If we want to go from ‘good’ to ‘better’ we need to capitalise on the positives. Most marriage counselling and education focuses on conflict and incompatibility. It seeks to help couples find constructive ways of dealing with challenges in the relationship. It’s a ‘damage control’ approach that…

Read More

Deep Impact Conversations

“How was your day?” It’s one of the most common questions couples ask each other and either leads to a dead-end response like, “fine” or “busy” (which usually means “I don’t want to talk about it”), or a long-winded description of meetings, frustrations, errands and other ‘busy’ stuff. It’s what we call a ‘data transfer’…

Read More

The Brighter Side to Arguments

Ron & Kathy Feher Interview

Are arguments a problem in a marriage? Many people think that the presence of arguments signal that something is fundamentally faulty with the relationship.Ron and Kathy Feher explore how arguments do not signify something wrong with the marriage, but are a symptom of and unresolved issue that needs to be addressed.

Read More

Escaping the Blame Game

When things go wrong, we love having someone to blame.  It’s a seductive game that makes us think that blaming others will give us control, but in reality, as long as we play the blame game–whether serving or being served–we have no power to change anything.  We may manage to convince ourselves that nothing is…

Read More

Time Out for Couples

Does Your Marriage Need a Time-Out? Danielle Bean talks about the value of time apart…for the purpose of being of better together. | Catholic Match | Read more here I will never forget the morning, many years ago, when I was very pregnant (and okay, maybe just a little hormonal), when my husband Dan and…

Read More

More than “I’m Sorry”

Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness are two very different factors in resolving arguments. Saying Sorry is Simple We were in the midst of yet another disagreement. We were both hurt, and we knew it was time to let go of our case and make up. But it’s hard to say sorry. It’s even harder…

Read More

Autopsy of an Argument

Recovering from an Argument

How do you recover from the carnage of an argument? Here’s a game plan to help you heal the rift and learn from the experience! 1. Stop:  Allow yourselves time to cool off. Separate and practice some self-soothing techniques such as deep breathing, taking a walk, having a cup of tea, meditating, consciously relaxing each part…

Read More

The Ikea Carpark Battle

We know the scenario: a frazzled couple, stroppy kids and a car that just isn’t big enough to fit all the stuff they’ve just bought in store. Over-tired and over-sugared children seem destined to test the tolerance of their parents while an impatient driver waits conspicuously for their parking spot adding pressure to the situation.…

Read More