SL Column
Waiting … with joyful hope
Advent is the season of waiting. And there sure is lots of waiting in marriage and family life. Advent, from the Latin adventus, means ‘coming’. In the Church calendar, Advent kick starts the year with a period of preparation for the celebration of Christ’s birth at Christmas. Like Lent, the colour for Advent is purple…
Read MoreDisplacing Contempt with Respect
Want to give your marriage heart burn? Try treating each other with contempt. Contempt has been identified as a corrosive relationship pattern among couples headed for bust. An expression of despisal, contempt is the toxic cousin to criticism. Contempt is a devastating weapon when deployed by manipulative abusers, where the recipient is beaten down by…
Read MorePerfectly Imperfect Marriages
Despite the promises of Hollywood and fairytales, the perfect marriage is the one that helps us grow the most. And that’s not likely to be a marriage without hardship or trouble. Yesterday, as we were preparing to run a training session later on, we had ‘one’. An argument of sorts. It was more like a ‘splat’…
Read MoreMarital Conflict Gone Global
When conflict arises in a marriage, it’s not uncommon for us to seek validation for being upset. So we look for ways to strengthen our case and justify our complaint against the other. If the issue has been building for a while, the temptation to globalise our complaint intensifies. Globalisation is a form of exaggeration.…
Read MoreCriticism: the not-so-silent killer
Criticism kills. It undermines our confidence and corrodes relationship trust. In relationship research, it is identified as one of four destructive relationship habits. We’ve all experienced the negative impact of criticism, especially from loved ones. Sadly, it’s been present in our marriage and family far too often. Most of our criticism originates in a complaint.…
Read MoreSoftly Spoken Wins the Heart
“Honey, we need to talk!” Every spouse knows that what follows will be an uncomfortable conversation – one that will likely be bruising if not outright hurtful. Yet, having a difficult conversation is sometimes necessary. All couples need to be able to maturely address issues ranging from selfishness, neglect, or simple differences of opinion. So…
Read MoreThe Power of Why
Our three-year-old granddaughter has entered the ‘why’ stage. Parents everywhere know exactly what this is… the endless rounds of ‘but why?’ dialogue. Sometimes, she just doesn’t like the answer to why she may not have a second piece of cake. Like the parable of the lazy judge, perhaps she can compel a more favourable response…
Read MoreFrustrated Marriage
Frustrated in your marriage? Four ideas to ease the pain. Over the past decade, we’ve frequently had frustrated husbands or wives approach us for help. Their marriage was in trouble, but their spouse was unwilling, or unable, to participate in one of the marriage courses we offered. This led us to create the BreakThrough course…
Read MoreThe Little Things in Marriage
In marriage, the little things are really the big things. In business it is well recognised that getting the ‘big things right’ are important, but it is often the so-called ‘little things’ that make the difference between good and great companies. We were remined of this the other day when reading about a US company…
Read MoreMyths about Natural Fertility Methods
Despite decades of research that have made Fertility Awareness Methods (FAMs) an effective way for couples to manage their fertility, myths still abound. It’s time to correct the misinformation about these life-affirming alternatives to invasive birth control. July 25 marked the 55th anniversary of Humanae Vitae – St Pope Paul VI’s document on birth control.…
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