Empty Nesters
Conflict
What distinguishes couples in lasting marriages from those in more fragile ones, is not the absence of arguments, but the presence of respect and cherishment. When couples fight, what hurts is not the fact that their spouse disagrees with them, it is the contempt and indifference with which it is often packaged. Contempt – the…
Read MoreStop. Reflect. Connect.
FOR DECISION MAKING Whenever you are making a difficult or important decision, or disagree about how to go about something, the Stop-Reflect-Connect tool for Decision Making can be used. It helps you to avoid an argument by refocusing you on your priority – your fiancé and your relationship. Stop! Before the disagreement escalates to an…
Read MoreEmbracing the Other’s Value
The call to unity is a call to be predisposed to see things from a couple perspective, taking the other into account and embracing that which affects one as affecting both. …Making what is important to your fiancé important to you… When you make what is important to your fiancé important to you, they will…
Read MoreConflicting Values
Behind every behaviour or decision that you make, is a value; something that you hold in high esteem and is advanced in some way by the action. For example, making the choice to work back late may reflect any one of a number of values, such as: having pride in doing a job well, reducing…
Read MorePriorities & Ideals
What are your priorities? Priorities and Ideals are principles that you embrace as important to the quality of life you hope to experience. An Ideal is something you believe is good and desirable, however it remains an Ideal if you are not yet ready to make the sacrifices necessary to fit it into your life.…
Read MoreGod’s Love Lavished Upon Us
“God is Love, and he who abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him” 1 Jn 4:16 According to Pope Benedict XVI, the essence of being a Christian is not so much “the result of an ethical choice or a lofty idea, but the encounter with an event, a person, which gives…
Read MoreThe Redemption of the Body
“The man and his wife were both naked yet they felt no shame” – Gn 2:25 The BattleGround of the heart We all know that it is possible to follow the rules or ‘the law of God’, without ever attaining holiness. We might do all the right things, but not really be committed in our…
Read MoreThe Power of Forgiveness
Let’s face it, your fiancé is not the only person who can or has hurt or disappointed you. Outside injuries, whether new or ancient, limit your ability to trust or to be completely generous and they often drive your behaviour. You can overreact to each other because of something someone else has done to you…
Read MoreFree to Love
The challenge before you is to learn to love the other effectively and to do so wholeheartedly and consistently with God’s abundant grace. Clearly some couples are ‘natural couples’; their formation makes it easy for them to express love in ways that are appreciated by the other. Other couples need to be constantly alert and…
Read MoreMy Family of Origin
People often say that “you marry into a family”. This is certainly true in that you gain a whole new set of relatives, but it is also true in that you will be exposed to all the customs, traditions, and family values that are characteristic of the people to whom your fiancé belongs. More significantly,…
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