Dating
The 50-50 Marriage Myth
In our society, a lot people think that marriage is a fifty-fifty arrangement. That we each contribute equally to the relationship. The problem with this kind of thinking, is that it leads us to hold back and to keep score. We fell into this trap earlier in our marriage. When life started to get busy…
Read MoreSuccess Breeds Success
You Don’t Need to Fail in Order to Succeed A lot of people think that having a few failed relationships is helpful in preparing them for marriage. Some even go as so far as seeing the first marriage itself as a ‘training ground’ for the grand love that is expected to follow. They reason: now…
Read MoreA Habit of Thanks
Think Positive I was very pessimistic as a teenager. I tended to see everything negatively, and even when something good happened, I always noted how it could be better. I didn’t make very good company, even for myself. That changed when I fell in love, and learned a new way of relating to the world.…
Read MoreFree Sex? The Unintended Cost of the Pill
While the western world celebrates the 50th anniversary of the pill, an American economist, Timothy Reichert*, using simple but powerful competition theory, is questioning its benefit to women. The Mating Market The theory goes thus: There used to be just one ‘mating market’. If a person wanted sex, it was readily available in marriage and…
Read MoreTruth on Tap 2012
SmartLoving: Relationships that really work from dating to marriage Last week, Francine and Byron Pirola spoke to the youth at Truth on Tap in the Brookvale pub. They addressed key issues surrounding marriage breakdowns and focused on the concept of ‘Smart Loving’: how to love your spouse or fiancé so that both are cared for…
Read MoreWedding Stress: Dealing with In-laws
When you marry, you marry into a family. And your fiancé gets more than just a new spouse, he/she gets another branch of the family – your family! Read on for tips on handling tension with in-laws. This is how it has always been, but in recent decades, the reality of extended family has come…
Read MoreFinding Reverse
Stuck in drive When visiting Rome recently, we borrowed a friend’s car to drive out of the city for a day. Everything was going fine (despite the fact that Roman drivers ignore the lane markings!), until we turned down a one way street the wrong way. Another car, traveling in the right direction, stopped, waiting…
Read MoreThe Pill and Partner Choice
It has long been known that hormonal contraceptives diminish a woman’s natural sexual drive (also called ‘libido’). Now there is real life evidence that the Pill also affects a woman’s partner choice. In a study published in Royal Society B: Biological Sciences, the authors speculate that hormonal contraceptive use before marriage could have a long lasting impact…
Read MoreHave you got a Smart Relationship?
There’s more to successful relationships than just following your instincts. Do the quiz to find out how you rate A. Love is… 1: A feeling – so I follow my feelings in my marriage 2: More than a feeling, but mostly I let my feelings tell me how to act 3: Hard work…
Read MoreMarital Resilience
Let’s face it – marriage is a tough gig these days. With divorce rates higher than we’d like, too many families are being torn apart by marriage breakdown. What can couples do to immunize their marriages against this tragedy? Marital resilience starts with a well-grounded understanding of what marriage is and what it isn’t. A lot of…
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