Couple Exercises
Hear Me, Touch Me, Know Me
In relationships, the word ‘intimacy’ is often used as a euphemism for sex, but this is a very narrow and impoverished view. Some people have suggested that the meaning is better encapsulated through its sounds: “in-to-me-see” better captures the idea that intimacy involves the knowledge of the interior life of each other. In any relationship,…
Read MoreGratitude: The Heart-beat of Love
New research validates age-old wisdom: the simple habit of gratitude can transform a jaded marriage into a joyous encounter. By Marilyn Rodrigues A University of North Carolina study released last month highlighted the association of gratitude with a happy marriage. Cameron Gordon, the study’s lead author, said that the goodwill generated by grateful spouses creates…
Read MoreThe Bethlehem Prayer
Through an imaginative encounter with the Holy Family at Bethlehem, God offers consolation and healing for our Family of Origin wounds. It’s very normal when exploring our Family of Origin to surface some pain or hurt. This might express itself in a sense of loss at what could have been, or a sense of not…
Read MoreMaking a change for the better
Change is difficult. It can also be complicated. Despite our best intentions, sustained change often eludes us. We’ve had many spouses tell us that their husband or wife promised to change, and things were good for a while, but then there was a relapse. Their good intentions were not enough to sustain their energy for…
Read MoreThe Power of Why
Our three-year-old granddaughter has entered the ‘why’ stage. Parents everywhere know exactly what this is… the endless rounds of ‘but why?’ dialogue. Sometimes, she just doesn’t like the answer to why she may not have a second piece of cake. Like the parable of the lazy judge, perhaps she can compel a more favourable response…
Read MoreFrustrated Marriage
Frustrated in your marriage? Four ideas to ease the pain. Over the past decade, we’ve frequently had frustrated husbands or wives approach us for help. Their marriage was in trouble, but their spouse was unwilling, or unable, to participate in one of the marriage courses we offered. This led us to create the BreakThrough course…
Read MoreChange Reaction
It’s easy to see how couples get stuck when ‘being right’ has become a habit. Clinging to our ‘right to be right’ is like gangrene in a relationship….
Read MoreMarriage Lessons from a Dog Trainer
A few months ago, our young Australian Shepherd went to doggie boot camp. Over five weeks she was trained by professional dog-handlers to walk calmly, socialise nicely and keep her focus under the pressure of distractions. Video footage taken by the trainers proved she was capable. What really remained was the question: can her owners be similarly trained? When the time came to…
Read MoreIntentional Relationship
No matter how easy it is to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. Most people drift into love, marriage and family without a whole lot of conscious planning about the kind of relationship they want to have five, 10 or 20 years down the track. Whether you are married, engaged or…
Read MoreFive Ways to Build Trust
Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what we believe is the best course of action. It triggers us both for different…
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