Posts by Francine & Byron Pirola
#19 Transition to Parenthood
The transition to parenthood is a challenge for all couples but for a couple that experienced almost a decade of infertility the change from being a married couple with no kids, to parenthood can be a dramatic shift in their identities and relationship. In this podcast Laura and Joseph Cain share their rollercoaster of marriage,…
Read MoreThe Bethlehem Prayer
Through an imaginative encounter with the Holy Family at Bethlehem, God offers consolation and healing for our Family of Origin wounds. It’s very normal when exploring our Family of Origin to surface some pain or hurt. This might express itself in a sense of loss at what could have been, or a sense of not…
Read MoreWaiting … with joyful hope
Advent is the season of waiting. And there sure is lots of waiting in marriage and family life. Advent, from the Latin adventus, means ‘coming’. In the Church calendar, Advent kick starts the year with a period of preparation for the celebration of Christ’s birth at Christmas. Like Lent, the colour for Advent is purple…
Read MoreDisplacing Contempt with Respect
Want to give your marriage heart burn? Try treating each other with contempt. Contempt has been identified as a corrosive relationship pattern among couples headed for bust. An expression of despisal, contempt is the toxic cousin to criticism. Contempt is a devastating weapon when deployed by manipulative abusers, where the recipient is beaten down by…
Read MoreMaking a change for the better
Change is difficult. It can also be complicated. Despite our best intentions, sustained change often eludes us. We’ve had many spouses tell us that their husband or wife promised to change, and things were good for a while, but then there was a relapse. Their good intentions were not enough to sustain their energy for…
Read MoreWedding Stress Tamed!
Planning a wedding is busy and stressful. There’s lots to think about and lots of factors to consider in every decision: the budget, the aesthetic, and the cost-benefit. The practical reality of organising the many details is complicated by the tension of negotiating differences between each other while navigating the expectations of extended family and close friends. Well-meaning parents, siblings and friends can inadvertently ramp…
Read MorePerfectly Imperfect Marriages
Despite the promises of Hollywood and fairytales, the perfect marriage is the one that helps us grow the most. And that’s not likely to be a marriage without hardship or trouble. Yesterday, as we were preparing to run a training session later on, we had ‘one’. An argument of sorts. It was more like a ‘splat’…
Read MoreMarital Conflict Gone Global
When conflict arises in a marriage, it’s not uncommon for us to seek validation for being upset. So we look for ways to strengthen our case and justify our complaint against the other. If the issue has been building for a while, the temptation to globalise our complaint intensifies. Globalisation is a form of exaggeration.…
Read More#18 Anchored
In the summer of 2021, Tony Manfredonia, a songwriter, found himself on the brink of destroying his marriage. Lost in the relentless pursuit of career success, he had forsaken the most precious pillars of life: Love, Family, and Faith in God. His album, “ANCHORED”, is a testament to the snares of temptation that threaten to…
Read MoreCriticism: the not-so-silent killer
Criticism kills. It undermines our confidence and corrodes relationship trust. In relationship research, it is identified as one of four destructive relationship habits. We’ve all experienced the negative impact of criticism, especially from loved ones. Sadly, it’s been present in our marriage and family far too often. Most of our criticism originates in a complaint.…
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