Posts by Francine & Byron Pirola
Going the distance is easier together
We’ve all heard marriage is a journey, but what happens when it feels like a marathon with no finish line? Every couple faces trials – tension with family, disappointment or frustration at work, unemployment, or health struggles. What hurts most isn’t always the trial itself – it’s the feeling of being alone in it,…
Read MoreWar and Peace on the Home Front
Every nation remembers the sacrifice of their war veterans with a Memorial Day. Thinking about your marriage: is it more of a battlefield than the safe harbour it is intended to be? Through our work with couples, we often encounter those in embattled relationships. They’ve become trapped in a fractious pattern where almost every interaction…
Read MoreCalling Volunteer Feet
It’s that time of year when parishioners scatter like startled sheep. The call goes out for volunteers to have their feet washed on Holy Thursday, and suddenly, we’re armed with a thousand excuses. We get it – our knobbly, stinky feet aren’t exactly our best feature. The idea of baring them in public, especially to…
Read MoreSoulful Communication
Communication has long been seen as the key to a healthy marriage. Modern experts call into question this wisdom, suggesting that it is not communication, but connection that is the key to lasting marital happiness. Communication in relationships is often misunderstood. Most peo ple think that good communication involves choosing the right words and learning…
Read MoreLong Live the Ten-Second Kiss
In a world that pulls couples apart, a simple ten-second kiss IS a small act of love with big rewards. Regular readers of SmartLoving will be familiar with the Connect Kiss – a daily connection ritual we promote to couples. It consists of a smoochy kiss that lasts at least ten seconds. We recommend it…
Read MoreResilience Of The Marital Kind
Let’s face it – marriage can be a tough gig these days. Living in a culture that almost expects marriage to fail, couples wonder what they can do to immunise their relationship against the tragedy of divorce. Understanding the True Purpose of Marriage Marital resilience starts with a well-grounded understanding of what marriage is and…
Read MoreEditing Ourselves
Balancing honesty with kindness & Effectiveness We live in a culture that champions unfiltered self-expression. We’re told that honesty is the ultimate virtue in relationships – that I have a right to say what’s on my mind, whenever I feel like it, and that our spouse should be ready to listen. It’s a message that…
Read MoreWhen I am winning, WE are usually losing
“You can either be right, or you can be one, but you can’t be both”. Our mentors were talking to us about a frustrating argument, and we were both digging in. They were right, of course, but we struggled to put it into practice. It would not be the last time either. Like just…
Read MoreOur Way or God’s Way?
Finding Harmony in the Catholic Wedding Vows We often find ourselves chatting with engaged couples who want to write their own wedding vows. They tell us the traditional language feels stiff or too generic, and we get it—their love is unique, and they want their words to reflect that. It’s entirely understandable, and it…
Read MoreIntentional Relationship
No matter how easy it is to fall in love, staying in love requires attention and effort. Most people drift into love, marriage and family without a whole lot of conscious planning about the kind of relationship they want to have five, 10 or 20 years down the track. Whether you are married, engaged…
Read More