Posts by Francine & Byron Pirola
Avoiding the Divorce Flu
A new study has documented what counsellors have observed for years: divorce is contagious. Just like a virus, divorce spreads among social networks and influences marriages among the divorcing couple’s friends, family and work colleagues. For example, got a divorced sibling? Your chances of divorcing go up by 22%. A divorced friend? Up by 147%.…
Read MoreKnow What You Want
Part 3 of It Takes One to Tango Perhaps you’ve heard the saying: Failure to plan is a plan to fail. So many people fail to experience the fullness of their ambitions in all sorts of areas such as health, friendships, career etc. simply because they fail to plan. Without a plan, we are like a…
Read MoreDo Something Different
Part 5 of It Takes One to Tango Too often people don’t think or act ‘sanely’ when it comes to their marriage problems. Picture this common scenario: a wife is frustrated that her husband doesn’t help more around the house. She nags and badgers him but it doesn’t inspire him to step up and be…
Read MorePassion and domesticity
One of the greatest challenges couples face in our contemporary age is the presumption of sexual excitement. When the romance wanes, marriages are at risk – but what’s a couple to do when passion is in decline? We’re all in favour of a vibrant and passionate sex life for couples however it’s not always easy to…
Read MoreKnot Yet! #5: Responsibility Phobia
What comes first, maturity or the responsibility? In the world of adultescence, the absence of the necessity to be responsible, delays maturity. Most of us look back at adolesence and shiver – it’s a tough time developmentally when the young person is reaching for independence but doesn’t quite have the mental resources to cope with adulthood. Many…
Read MoreMarriage Nomads
We’ve been reading a book on the writings of St John of the Cross and in one section the author talks about perseverance in the ‘Nomad Culture’. St John was a Spanish Carmelite in the fifteenth century so we were confused by this reference to Nomad Culture – it didn’t sound like he was talking…
Read MoreLike Father, Like Mother
In our household, the traditional stereotypes of father as disciplinarian and mother as comforter don’t describe us very well and that’s probably a good thing. However, we do tend to parent quite differently. Byron is more likely to provide study or career planning advice, and to engage with the children around sport. He’s more likely…
Read MoreWords to make her smile
[Disclaimer: we take no responsibility for the advice tendered in this column unless husbands read it to the end. :-)] A few weeks ago, Francine came across a blog post by Shaunti Feldhahn in which she described for men how to cut above the noise to really, truly communicate their love to their wife. It…
Read MoreVideo: Breaking Through
When you feel stuck in your marriage, unable to move forward, we call it relationship gridlock. Accumulated hurts keep you both stuck in resentment and defensive. Sometimes it feels like your only choice is to stay and be miserable or leave and start again. But there is another way… Find out about the BreakThrough Online…
Read MoreNewsflash: Pope says sex is ‘a gift from God’
In Amoris Laetitia (The Joy of Love), Pope Francis writes extensively about many aspects of marriage and family life. In it is a section that is dedicated to affirming the sexual relationship of the married couple as good and holy. Saint John Paul II wrote extensively about the sacredness of marital love making. In this…
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