Archive for January 7, 2015
The Power of Forgiveness
Let’s face it, your fiancé is not the only person who can or has hurt or disappointed you. Outside injuries, whether new or ancient, limit your ability to trust or to be completely generous and they often drive your behaviour. You can overreact to each other because of something someone else has done to you…
Read MoreFree to Love
The challenge before you is to learn to love the other effectively and to do so wholeheartedly and consistently with God’s abundant grace. Clearly some couples are ‘natural couples’; their formation makes it easy for them to express love in ways that are appreciated by the other. Other couples need to be constantly alert and…
Read MoreMy Family of Origin
People often say that “you marry into a family”. This is certainly true in that you gain a whole new set of relatives, but it is also true in that you will be exposed to all the customs, traditions, and family values that are characteristic of the people to whom your fiancé belongs. More significantly,…
Read MoreFormation – Family of Origin
This session is designed to help you see clearly the pictures in your brain of what you think is right and normal. That is, your unconscious expectations of the dynamic between husband and wife – what it means to be husband and father or wife and mother. Even if your parents were extraordinarily happy in…
Read MoreEveryday Communication
Good communication… IS ALWAYS OTHER-CENTRED The best way to stay other-centred and ensure effective communication, even amid the stress of every day situations, is for the Speaker to make it easy for the Listener to listen and for the Listener to encourage the Speaker. Both the Speaker and the Listener are responsible for the quality…
Read MoreEmotional Communion
Emotional Communion is more than just reading or listening actively to what our loved one is sharing. It involves opening our heart in vulnerability to the other, so that we can enter into his or her emotion and be united with them in the experience. The goal of Emotional Communion is to take on the…
Read MoreUnregulated Self-expression
Common Traps When Speaking Generally, men are less dependent than women on verbal expression to establish connection and emotional intimacy with their spouse. This imbalance means that a typical wife will seek more verbal communication than a typical husband, leading to the common dynamic of frustration on his part and hurt on hers. He thinks…
Read MoreCommunion of Persons
“…man, as male-female is a person, created in the ‘image and likeness of God,’…this image is realised in the communion of persons.” TOB, n 69:4. pg 399. We are called to be ‘gift’, to make a gift of ourselves to another. The nature of this gift is more than just a bodily, physical sharing; the…
Read MoreListening with the Heart
The first step towards the kind of active listening that will facilitate an experience of intimacy is to examine some of our normal responses to the other’s personal sharing of what’s going on inside them. Resistance People tend to block the sharing of their emotions when the listener reacts defensively or signals that they don’t…
Read MoreLevels of Intimacy
Emotional intelligence refers to a person’s ability to understand their own and other people’s emotional life. Some people are very bright academically but can be quite inept when it comes to relationships and self-awareness. Others have a natural ability in this area. Nonetheless, it is possible for us all to expand and develop our emotional…
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