Posts Tagged ‘wounds’
Leaving and Cleaving is Complicated!
Origin Families and their Impact “A man leaves his father and his mother and clings to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Gen 2:24) On our wedding day, we joyfully left our family homes to begin our married life together. Living and worshipping in the same parish, with similar ethnic heritage and family structure,…
Read MoreUnderstanding Compound Wounds
Who would have thought espresso cups could cause such drama? Byron had discarded the unused ‘free’ cups a year earlier, without Francine even noticing their absence. After a frantic search when a guest requested an espresso, she discovered their fate. Despite this information, she experienced a kind of suspende d reality – she…
Read MoreDefending our hearts
Is defensiveness crippling your relationship? Do you feel regularly on edge, reactive and punchy? Read on for our process for managing defensiveness. Recently, Byron shared a new idea with Francine. Instead of encouragement, Francine responded with “when will you get time to do that?!” The conversation immediately terminated in gloomy withdrawal. Afterwards we unpacked the…
Read MoreAttached – for better or worse
According to search analytics, one of our most popular blog posts explores attachment styles in marriage. That’s because our attachment style profoundly impacts the way we relate to each other. Incorporating insights from neuroplasticity, genetics and parental nurturing experiences, Attachment Theory illuminates underlying causes of disruptive relationship behaviours in marriage. It posits that the kind…
Read MorePassion, Death, and Resurrection in Marriage
Every marriage has elements of passion, death, and resurrection. These seasons of growth, disillusionment and revitalisation are entirely normal, and to be expected. The problem is there’s often a delay before the resurrection manifests. That ‘waiting in the tomb’ is profoundly challenging; in our case it’s never just three days! Here are three thoughts about…
Read MoreTwo Sides to Relationship Repair
Periods of disconnection are an unfortunate part of every marriage. Relationship Repair takes both an initiator and receiver. Disconnection has happened frequently in our marriage, even for newlyweds. It might have been the result of a hurtful action, a careless comment, an argument, or just insufficient time together. We’ve written about a number of disconnection…
Read MoreThe Bethlehem Prayer
Through an imaginative encounter with the Holy Family at Bethlehem, God offers consolation and healing for our Family of Origin wounds. It’s very normal when exploring our Family of Origin to surface some pain or hurt. This might express itself in a sense of loss at what could have been, or a sense of not…
Read MoreTrigger warning: there’s a landmine below
Over the previous columns we have been exploring how our formation from our family of origin can continue to impact us and our marriage negatively. In this article we want to unpack the third and final way our formation experiences play out – through emotional injuries. Some years ago, Francine purchased a new espresso machine.…
Read MoreWhat is Forgiveness?
Forgiveness is not an emotion – it’s a choice to surrender our case against the other, to lay down our resentment. Ron & Kathy Feher explore the role of forgiveness in marriage.
Read MoreParental Hurts
Ron and Kathy Feher explain how emotional injuries from one’s parents or family of origin can influence our behaviour into our adulthood and impact on our marriage.
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