Habit Makers, Habit Breakers

Do your evenings ever disappear into the couch, your phone, and a half-watched Netflix show? We realised ours had—and something important was quietly missing. In this post, we explore how small, intentional rituals can transform ordinary routines into meaningful couple time… without adding another thing to your to-do list. Lately, we’ve slipped into a not-so-good…

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Echoes from Childhood

Unpacking the hidden ways our earliest bonds influence love and trust in our adult relationships.  One of the most powerful topics in the SmartLoving Engaged course addresses formation in our family of origin. The family is where we first encounter love and learn to relate with others.   That’s why the Church calls the family “a…

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Embracing Hope in Our Marriage

  Letting go of EXPECTATIONS opens us to God’s grace.    Like most couples, we stood at the altar on our wedding day with hearts full of dreams of what our married life would bring. We imagined a partnership filled with effortless harmony, where our spouse intuitively anticipated our every need. But as the years…

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Understanding Compound Wounds

    Who would have thought espresso cups could cause such drama? Byron had discarded the unused ‘free’ cups a year earlier, without Francine even noticing their absence. After a frantic search when a guest requested an espresso, she discovered their fate. Despite this information, she experienced a kind of suspende d reality – she…

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Three Tips for Trust

Relationships thrive when trust is strong. But how do we build it in the first instance, and then recover it if we’ve lost it? Here are three tips to help you build trust and hold on to it. 1: Keep your promises We all know major betrayals, like an affair, are a clear violation of…

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Relational Entropy and what to do about it

It’s the second law of thermodynamics and we use the term regularly in ordinary conversation. But what does entropy have to do with relationships?  Entropy is defined as “a process of degradation or running down, or a trend to disorder”. In thermodynamics, there’s this idea that in order to resist, or reverse, the effects of…

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Attached – for better or worse

According to search analytics, one of our most popular blog posts explores attachment styles in marriage. That’s because our attachment style profoundly impacts the way we relate to each other. Incorporating insights from neuroplasticity, genetics and parental nurturing experiences, Attachment Theory illuminates underlying causes of disruptive relationship behaviours in marriage. It posits that the kind…

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How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble

When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve…

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The Science, Art and Spirit of Communication

Communication is fundamental to our relationships and the flourishing of families. If we want to do it well, there is a science, art and spirit to communication. We all like to think of ourselves as good communicators. Unfortunately, what that usually means is: I have lots to say and I’m not afraid to say it!…

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Marriage in the Wilderness

It’s Lent – the season that recalls one of the great wilderness events in the Scriptures: Jesus fasting and being tempted for 40 days. What insights can we draw from this event for our marriage? We’ve heard the story many times: following his baptism in the Jordan River by John, Jesus spends forty days in…

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