Three Tips for Trust

Relationships thrive when trust is strong. But how do we build it in the first instance, and then recover it if we’ve lost it? Here are three tips to help you build trust and hold on to it. 1: Keep your promises We all know major betrayals, like an affair, are a clear violation of…

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Relational Entropy and what to do about it

It’s the second law of thermodynamics and we use the term regularly in ordinary conversation. But what does entropy have to do with relationships?  Entropy is defined as “a process of degradation or running down, or a trend to disorder”. In thermodynamics, there’s this idea that in order to resist, or reverse, the effects of…

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Attached – for better or worse

According to search analytics, one of our most popular blog posts explores attachment styles in marriage. That’s because our attachment style profoundly impacts the way we relate to each other. Incorporating insights from neuroplasticity, genetics and parental nurturing experiences, Attachment Theory illuminates underlying causes of disruptive relationship behaviours in marriage. It posits that the kind…

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How Expectations Set Us Up for Trouble

When we look back on our early romance, we note how quick we were to trust each other, even recklessly so. We dived into the relationship with ready abandon and little thought for the risks of rejection or disappointment. Since then, our trust levels have strengthened in many areas, and declined in others, as we’ve…

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The Science, Art and Spirit of Communication

Communication is fundamental to our relationships and the flourishing of families. If we want to do it well, there is a science, art and spirit to communication. We all like to think of ourselves as good communicators. Unfortunately, what that usually means is: I have lots to say and I’m not afraid to say it!…

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Marriage in the Wilderness

It’s Lent – the season that recalls one of the great wilderness events in the Scriptures: Jesus fasting and being tempted for 40 days. What insights can we draw from this event for our marriage? We’ve heard the story many times: following his baptism in the Jordan River by John, Jesus spends forty days in…

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Too Hasty to Judge

In the age of instant news, judgment falls hastily. In marriage also, we are often quick to judge each other. Like most couples, over thirty plus years of marriage, we’ve had quite a few misunderstandings. Sadly, many of these escalated to painful arguments where hurtful things were said, and our unity was damaged. The reason?…

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Five Ways to Build Trust

Today we had a meeting. Sigh… The dreaded meeting! Being a couple and working together is complex. We’re both strong-willed and passionate about what we do so it’s easy for us to slip into a mode where we single-mindedly pursue what we believe is the best course of action. It triggers us both for different…

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Why is forgiveness so hard?

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In this Year of Mercy, there’s lots of talk about forgiving: God’s expansive forgiveness and our own obligation to forgive others. We get it. It’s important. Incredibly so. But why is it so darn hard to do? From our earliest experiences as children, we’ve been told how important it is to forgive. We also taught…

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The Disciplined Pursuit of Less

In a Stanford Business School talk, author Greg McKeown reflects on what holds capable, driven people from breaking through to the next level. He says that the answer to that question, surprisingly, is success. According to Greg, when executive teams focus on a few things, it leads to success. But success breeds more opportunities and…

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